Nellie the Nag

I knew instantly that it was wrong. An alarm rang in my head warning me not to do it, but in the back of my mind something told me it was worth the gamble. So I decided that I would.


I went along the road, up the hill and round the bend. Then over the bridge, through the gate and across the park. Past the pub, by the church and into the mall.
Still that little voice in my head said no, but all the time there was a chance I simply had to take the risk.


I strode into the betting shop, puffed out my chest and with a confident air strode up to the counter.


“I’ll put everything I have on Nellie the Nag in the nine nineteen at Newmarket” I said. “Every single penny”. Everyone else in the shop heard me and immediately thought that I must know something that they didn’t. A queue formed and one by one each of the customers staked some money on Nellie.


The bookie's eyes lit up. It was a rank outsider with odds of ninety nine to nine. The race was about to start. I sat myself down and fixed my gaze on the TV screen. They were off!


Out of the stalls, down the straight and around the curve. Rush to the first, jump the hedge, and down again. Nellie is last, dropping behind and looking tired. I turn away, cover my eyes and switch off my ears.
Suddenly I am aware of shouting and cheering. I part my fingers, peer through them at the screen and realise that Nellie the Nag is coming up the outside. She is gaining fast and there are just three fences to jump before the home straight and victory.


Clear over one, scraped over two and high over three.
I was on the edge of my seat and bouncing up and down in time with her galloping. Everyone was calling out and yelling “Nellie, Nellie, Nellie”


It all became a blur. I shut my eyes and when I opened them again the race was over. The silence was deafening. I knew instantly that my horse has lost. I had lost and so had everyone else.


As I was leaving I heard one of the others ask the bookie how much I’d gambled on Nellie the Nag. “Everything he had” he answered with a smile on his face. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and with my head bowed I started to wander home.


I walked out of the mall, by the church and past the pub. Across the park, through the gate and over the bridge. Round the bend, down the hill and along the road.
I knew I should have listened to that little voice. Thank goodness I only had two pounds on me when I threw caution to the wind and put it all on Nellie the Nag.


Please visit Roseys take on this prompt. It's HERE

Writers Island - Friendship

I used to have a ginger cat
First friend I ever made.
Got squashed outside my house one night,
I scraped him up with a spade.

I had a friend at junior school
I called him Sunny Jim.
One day he took off with my girlfriend
That’s the last I saw of him.

When I got my first job
I made a friend of my boss
We fell out when he sacked me
That made me awfully cross.

When I left home to work away
I shared my flat with mates
But they were always in the way
And ruined all my dates.

So when I got my own place
I had a friend called Jane,
She let me down - I threw her out
I went to live in Spain.

I made a friend in Barcelona
A Spanish senorita
At least that’s what I thought she was
‘til I found her name was Rita.

Let’s find a friend I said one day,
a friend I can rely on.
A friend that I can take to bed
A friend that I can lye on!

I got a local paper
Wrote a ‘lonely heart’,
I waited for the telephone
New friend, new life, new start.

I got a date, hooray I said
I’ll keep her if I can
But once again my plan went wrong
Turned out to be a man.

All my life it’s been the same
Friends have let me down.
Girlfriends, wives and drinking pals
White ones, black ones, brown.

But now I have a real friend
Someone who knows my mind
Someone who thinks like I do
Someone who’s really kind.

A friend who’s always by my side
A friend who’ll never flee
A friend who knows just what I want
My new best friend is me.
.
.
My story continues! The Stranger - part 4
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Stating the bl****ng obvious!

Yes- these instructions are genuine!

On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".

On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside".

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

On Boot's Childrens Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

On a packet of Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

Thanks once again to my friend Jacqui in Spain for this list. xx

Cheffie's got red eyes!

The electricity in our village was turned off today. Seems there was something that needed fixing. For most of the villagers in their cottages, this was nothing more of than an inconvenience. May even had some benefits - couples talking together instead of watching the TV, people reading that book they had forgotten about. There may even be a population explosion in 9 months time!

But pity poor Cheffie. No way was I going to give in! Dozens of elderly people depend on me for their daily plate of sustenance!

First problem was the dark! Even at midday with the sun shining outside, I had difficulty telling my ass from my elbow. My kitchen has one small window which is shrouded by a tree. But I wasn’t going to let that beat me. A couple of candles flickered either side of my station, and I was in business

.
Meanwhile in the restaurant, tea- lights illuminated each table and the wrinklies started trooping in. The bottom of the dining area is naturally very gloomy. The building is almost 300 years old and the windows are tiny. But the scene looked almost romantic! The image was altered however, when an elderly lady in a gloriously over-the-top dress glided in. She had clearly had an accident with her perfume bottle as her Channel began to fill the air and the whole room took on the air of a tart’s boudoir!

In the meantime I was struggling with a suitably reduced menu. I only had 6 gas rings to work on. No oven, no microwaves ( yes, I do use microwaves!) and more importantly, no extraction system! The kitchen got hotter and hotter, Cheffie got hotter and hotter, and in no time my eyes where streaming and as sore as a rambler’s rash!

Liver and bacon, cold meat with bubble and squeak, sausages with pan fried spuds.

With no machinery running the whole place seemed eerily quiet. I could here every word which was said outside in the bar. Every now and then someone would say ’forgot to pay the electricity bill?’ then convulse with laughter not realising it had been said 20 times before!

I overheard one conversation between Jackie, our barmaid cum waitress, and an elderly couple.
Old man ‘I’ll have haddock in batter’
Jackie ‘We have no fryers today so we cant do it’
Old man ‘What?’
Old lady ‘They’ve got no fryers’
Old man ‘I’ll have ham and chips’
Jackie ‘ We can’t do chips - we have no fryers’
Old man ‘What?’
Old lady ‘They cant do chips’
Old man ‘Why?’
Jackie ( thinks ’silly old fart’) NO FRYERS!
Old man ’What?’

Then I dropped something on the floor with a crash and I missed out on the rest of the entertainment!

Anyhow we got through and I’ve come home for my siesta. I just looked in the mirror and my eyes look as red as a vampires gob! Hopefully the ’lecky’ will be back on when I go back again in a couple of hours. If not, I’m coming home! .