Monday, April 03, 2017

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 Post 1496. Tuesday April 4

A-Z Challenge 2017

Tales of everyday life in the coastal village of Amble Bay




This is St Peter’s, known to locals as Pete’s Place. Sit yourself down on a tombstone while I tell you a little about it. No, not Mischievous Martha's; it's said she pops her hand up from the grave and pinches people's bums!

Father Joseph is the boss here, Holy Jo to us. He gets a fair few customers on Sunday mornings. He has occasional weddings and christenings too, but he enjoys funerals best. He gets competition from the Bustleton crematorium though. I went there recently for Fred’s farewell. He was a heavy smoker, so he probably went ready-cremated! As his coffin wobbled out of sight they played ‘smoke gets in your eyes’. Typical Fred!

The busiest event at Pete’s Place is the harvest festival. People take stuff they’ve grown. Last year I took a sprout. Arthur was asked to sing a verse of a hymn, solo. He sometimes does. We sang the first verse. 'We plough the fields and scatter..’ and then fell silent for Arthur’s verse. ‘Onward Christian soldiers...’ he sang. Wrong hymn. He’d forgotten his hearing aid again!

Christmas Midnight mass is quite a hoot. The Fish Inn stays open until two in the morning so we can get rid of the taste of Holy Jo’s budget-price communion wine with a glass or two of the mulled variety, and of course one of Molly Mason’s marvelously moorish mince pies.

Right you lot, I’ve got to dash. See you tomorrow.






Arthur who was the subject of my first tale seems to have become a minor celebrity in A-Z land! He will feature in all future stories, so if you missed his introduction you can find it HERE!

To read a brief description of Amble Bay and see a scribbled map just click HERE

Previous episodes – A B C D E F G H I JK L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Tomorrow I’ll be telling you about Dapper Dan, the pub landlord.

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72 comments:

  1. Delightful, like a break from my urban life. Thanks.

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    1. You won't many places more rural than this! Thanks for being today's first visitor to the church.

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  2. Great stuff, Keith! I'd start going to church again if I lived in Amble Bay. :)

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

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  3. Awesome. You really paint fabulous pictures with your words.

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  4. "Onward Christian soldiers" is a delightful song and I'm not even a church person. I can see why he went to the default on that. Pete's Place sounds like a somewhere I would go if I didn't attend the Church of Derby. Roller Derby that is. :)

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    1. Haha! Halelujah to that! Cheers Morgan!

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  5. Oh my, is it Tuesday already? Oh yes it is, in Amble Bay. I can picture it all perfectly in my mind. :-)

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    1. Time flies when we are having fun! Thanks for visiting Amble Bay Debby.

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  6. repeat offender here! Love your church. I'm a regular church attender and appreciate your remarks. I like the song choice for Fred's farewell. The funniest song choice I've heard was at a Christmas concert when the duo singing weren't a couple but were male and female and sang "For Unto Us a Child is Born" - I'm' afraid the congregation cracked up

    Philipa (Ozzypip)
    "http://ozzypipquilts.blogspot.com"

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    1. Nice one Philipa! You are more than welcome to the church any time.

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  7. Thanks for the warnings re Martha! Keep in mind when I visit :-)

    Nilanjana
    Madly-in-Verse

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    1. It's probably just an old wife's tale, who knows? Cheers Nilanjana

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  8. I could picture it in my head.
    I love your church.
    Martha...errrr....i would not want to be around the cemetery anytime after dark

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    1. I'm not sure I believe it, but I keep clear after dark just in case! Thanks DeeDee

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  9. Pete's Place sounds like a fun place to hang out. For some reason, taking a sprout to the harvest festival tickles me. If you only grew one, I hope it was a good one!

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    1. Not a sprout eater myself, but it looked pretty good!. Cheers Nick

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  10. Is nobody else concerned that Martha is apparently undead? Oh, sure, bum pinching is cute and all, but when the brain-eating starts, don't say I didn't warn you. ;)

    I love these posts. Good fun!

    A to Z 2017: Magical and Medicinal Herbs

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    1. It's probably just a rumour Sara so I wouldn't lose any sleep over it!

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  11. Haha. Send me an invitation during the next harvest fest.

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    1. ...as long as you bring a banana or something! Thanks Bernadette

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  12. Hi Keith and Arthur - glad you're still involved. These are wonderful tales with clever snippets intertwined about English life in Amble Bay ... and oh yes Mischievous Martha ... oh gosh a great ghost tale here ... cheers Hilary

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    1. I'm having fun with it Hilary! I just hope I can keep Arthur under control for a month!

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  13. I liked the line ab out the heavy smoker being already cremated. Darkly humourous.

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    1. Haha! That's just the non-smoking me having a dig! Cheers.

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  14. Enjoyed this! Just shows to be careful when you visit a cemetery! Build a Better Blog

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    1. ...especially the one in Amble Bay! Thank you Shirley

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  15. Fabulous. Mischievous Martha? Do you make this stuff up?

    Confusion or Clarity #Lexicon of Leaving

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    1. ... everything but Martha - that's real!

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  16. I'm enjoying my visits to Amble Bay a lot :-)

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    1. Thanks Ronel. I'm having fun too! Loving yours by the way/.

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  17. marvelous blog with captivating writings!

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    1. That's really kind of you. Thank you.

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  18. Good to see Arthur recurring here. Look forward to visiting the pub tomorrow. Great stuff Keith, really enjoying your challenge posts.

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    1. We are stuck with him all month! Thanks Iain

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  19. Hey Keith! I am glad I finally ambled by to see your ramblings. (yeah I know, pretty lame)But I do like the depth you are filling out in this offering. I will make time to get all the picture over the next few days.

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    1. Yea, not the best. Good to have you along for the ride.

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    1. Amen to that! Good to see you Annalisa

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  21. Too funny! Smoke gets in your eyes! I'll bet!
    Holy Jo! Love it!

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  22. Why does he enjoy funerals the best? o.O

    ~Patricia Lynne aka Patricia Josephine~
    Story Dam
    Patricia Lynne, Indie Author

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    1. I have no idea Patricia! I guess because he always gets an invite to the wake!

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  23. Amusing AND intriguing - outstanding! I can't help but wonder if Martha ever pinches Arthur ;-)
    "marvelously moorish mince pies..." I have no idea what that might taste like but I sure do love the description.

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    1. I'll get her to leave you one on Martha's tombstone and we'll see who gets it first! Cheers Diedre/

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  24. Its amazing how beautifully you bring your characters to life with wit and humour . Enjoyed my walk around Amble Bay, as i do everyday.

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    1. That is very kind of you. I hope the weather stays fine for your walks! We don't want any April showers.

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  25. :D This is the best one yet! I'm ready to move there! LOL

    Calen~
    Impromptu Promptlings
    A to Z Challenge Letter C

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    1. There is a cottage for sale! Thanks Calen

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  26. Very lively and a humor-laden offering for such a serious subject. You came off tops Keith!


    Hank

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    1. Nothng in Amble Bay is taken seriously Hank! Thanks so much.

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  27. I just adore how you write 😉

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    1. That's so nice of you Miss Andi, thank you so much.

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  28. This is like no cemetery I've ever seen (I say, admiringly). Who'd write a place with dead people so folksy!

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    1. That's Amble Bay for you. They take nothing seriously there!

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  29. Enjoying these snippets of life in Amble Bay :)

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    1. Thanks so much. Your visits are much appreciated

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  30. Smoke gets in your eyes - bahahahaha! Oh that was a good one! :D I'm liking these people!

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    1. Quite approprate I thought!Thanks Vanessa

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  31. Hello again, fellow A-to-Zer! This is excellent. I liked "Last year I took a sprout" especially.

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    1. I didn't have much of a crop, so I thought that was pretty generous! Cheers Melanie

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  32. Pete's Place sounds like a jolly place to be. :)

    Anna

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    1. Irt's certainly not a dull church! Cheers Anna

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  33. I love this village and the characters who reside there. It feels very much like a small community would, and Holy Jo is one of the staples, just as was my father's friend, the local undertaker!

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    1. The undertaker! Well, I suopose they do have friends! Thanks Josie

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