Sunday, February 15, 2015

Rosey inadvertently plays Chinese whispers!

A little something for this week's Magpie Tales.

My friend Rosey was out shopping the other day. Her mate Helen spotted her and weaved her way between the wandering shoppers. ‘Hey, Rosey Pee’ yelled Helen. 

‘Listen Rosey’ said Helen. ‘You won’t believe what Steve just told me’. ‘What’s that?’ asked Rosey. ‘Keep it to yourself Rosey Pee, because it’s a secret, but I just have to tell someone’. ‘Okie dokie’ said Rosey ‘Spill the beans then’.

‘Well’ said Helen ‘Steve said that Allan was talking to James, and James said something about Jane. You will so not believe this Rosey Pee – Jane is preggers, up the duff, mit kinder! And sweet innocent James is the father to be!’ 

For a moment Rosey looked a little confused as she ran the names through her head, then she held her hand to her mouth, her eyes bulging like organ stops. ‘Mum’s the word’ said Rosey chuckling to herself. ‘Mum’s the word - pregnant! Get it?’

As soon as Rosey got home she was on the phone to Amanda. ‘Mandy’ she whispered. ‘I can’t hear you Rosey, speak up’ said Amanda. ‘I can’t shout’ said Rosey ‘because it’s a secret, and ceilings have ears’. ‘Walls have ears Rosey’ laughed Amanda. ‘What, walls too?’ said Rosey’. ‘Never mind about that’, said Amanda, ‘what’s the big secret?’

‘Well’ said Rosey ‘I saw Helen today and she told me that James told her that his friend Allan has got Jane in the pudding club!’ Trust my friend Rosey to get it the wrong way round!

She couldn’t have told a worse person. Amanda is widely known as the mouth of the south! She couldn’t get Rosey off the phone quickly enough so that she could call her mate Nicki and tell her the secret she’d just heard. Nicki decided that it was too good a scandal to keep to herself.

She grabbed her coat, popped her feet half way into her shoes and rushed out of her front door, hopping and limping her way to the pub. Brenda the bartender was pouring drinks. ‘Listen’ said Nicki. ‘You won’t believe this!’

Brenda leaned across the bar so Nicki could whisper in her ear. She had a bit of difficulty hearing because the pub was very noisy, but she obviously got the gist of Nicki’s revelation if not the detail, because a look of utter amazement spread across her face. Within seconds she was on the phone and in minutes it was clear that the so-called secret was the talk of the bar.

The pub door opened and in walked Rosey. ‘Hi gang’ she called out as she strode towards her friends. ‘Who’s going to buy me a chardonnay then?’ ‘Should you be drinking that?’ asked Dickie. ‘Sorry?’ said Rosey as she started to hoist herself onto a bar stool. ‘Don’t sit up there’ said Mike. Suppose you topple off. Sit down here on a chair’. 

Rosey wondered what on earth was going on. ‘You never told me you were going out with Allan’ said Dickie. ‘I’m not’ said Rosey, ‘What are you talking about?’ ‘Don’t worry’ he said 'Your secret’s safe with us. How's the morning sickness by the way?'

Before a very confused Rosey could respond  Helen burst into the pub.  ‘Rosey Pee, you dark horse! You let me tell you all about James and Jane and all the time you had a secret of your own!’

Suddenly all the strange behaviour made sense to Rosey. 

Between them they sorted out the muddle and got back to what they do best, enjoying a drink together. And they raised their glasses to Jane  James and the sprog. 

Nicki suggested they all play a game. ‘I know’ said Rosey, let’s play Chinese Whispers!

To read heaps more stories about My Friend Rosey click HERE!


  1. Love this part because it's so different from how we'd say it in America: "Jane is preggers, up the duff, mit kinder!"

  2. Ha.. yes a secret is bound to get garbled and spread... reminds me of Norman Rockwell :-)

  3. Ohhhh boy! What a way to find trouble!

  4. that was an interesting story..haha..more than one secret going around.

  5. All juicy but all for a good conversation piece. Everyone pleasantly surprised. Wonderful write Keith!


  6. Glad I'm not living in Sussex any more, I was in enough trouble as it was without Rosey making it worse. Great laugh Keith.

  7. Struggled to keep up at first! I love beer-fueled Chinese favourite kind!

  8. Oh goodness, trouble has a way of showing off! Fun stuff.