Friday, February 13, 2015

Now you see her......


My first  100 word story for  Friday Fictioneer










You think I am mad because I see the old lady and you don’t.  There on her balcony. Listen, her rocking chair’s creaking and her knitting needles clicking. Stop laughing at me.

*

You think I’m crazy because I see the young girl and you don’t. There, standing in front of the house. She is shouting. Listen, you can hear her. Don’t pull that face.

*
Hi, I’m John. My fiance’s disappeared. We live over there. Her name is Mary.

I’m John too. I can’t find my wife. She sits here knitting. She's called Mary too.
Have we met before?


Word count 100

picture: Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields


19 comments:

  1. OH, interesting! Time travel? Overlapping realities? Ghosts? Very intriguing.

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    1. If I were to put in a box I would probably label it 'a little bit of nonsense'! Having said that all three of your suggestions could apply.Thanks for visiting.

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  2. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers, Keith! I had the same thought that Alice (above) had about a parallel universe but I don't know if that's right or not?

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    1. Hi Michael - I'm not sure myself so let's go with your suggestion, parallel universe!

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  3. Something strange happening here. Dual identities? Time warp? John and Mary and John and Mary? Intriguing. Great first FF. Beware - it's addictive.

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    1. Thanks Patrick. I'm sure it will be addictive once I get my head around the 100 word rule!

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  4. Welcome to FF. Good first effort. I do love a ghost story :)

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    1. Thank you Dawn. I've been writing two or three pieces of flash fiction a week on my blog for eight years now, but usually of the 300-500 word variety! This certainly will be a challenge!

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    2. Oh, it most certainly is. Some days they pop right out at 100 words, mostly though mine go to 140-200 and I have to edit from there. It's a good exercise and makes you aware of your vocabulary.

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  5. Splendid.. I like this with overlapping realities of folding of time .. excellent stuff, hope to see more great stories from you here.

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    1. Many people believe we've been here in a former life. Johns belief was confirmed

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  6. A good start for your entry to FF, Keith.

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    1. Thanks. I'm going to enjoy myself here!

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  7. I'm still trying to figure out if he is crazy. I think maybe so

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    1. I'm not certain myself and I wrote it!

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  8. Dear Keith,

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. As you've already been told, it's addictive. I liken it to the Hotel California. "You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave."

    Intriguing story although I'm a bit unclear as to what's happened and who it is in the first two paragraphs seeing the disappeared Mary's.

    I look forward to reading more from you.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle. I'm looking forward to next week already!

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  9. Keith,
    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers! And thanks for sharing that weird, loopy little story. It almost felt like two worlds folding into each other.

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