Wednesday, October 29, 2014

For this week's Poetry Jam

Let me read it to you!
Click on green pointer



Because


She was staring into space
focusing on nothing at all

I asked her why
She said because


Her eyes were filled with tears
which trickled down her cheeks

I asked her why
She said because


Her brow was heavy with sadness
Her face etched with sorrow

I asked her why
She said because


She knew I had to leave
I knew it broke her heart

She asked me why
I said because











Picture Sad Woman by Do Down D at deviantART

22 comments:

  1. How sad - leaving is such sweet sorrow

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  2. seperating is never easy...especially when the emotions are so strong....and though we know a reason...and it makes sense now...i wonder, at times....

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  3. I think people who give short non-explanatory answers are hard to deal with oftentimes. Answers such as 'because' or 'I don't know' which say nothing. I like the way the tables were turned at the end of the poem. Perhaps she will learn to give more thought to answers in the future, but then again perhaps not.

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  4. I like the progression in your poem, Keith, the repetition which is not quite one and how well it works. Short answers are not really answers.

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  5. Wow this is a strong one despite its simplicity. Just because.

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  6. Such a sad poem and they both know it is because ..

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  7. both of them knew the answer to this because that's what a true love is knowing without saying anything

    Woolen Socks

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  8. When feelings are involved less words spoken the better. It may just start an argument. They shouldn't push their luck! Nicely Keith!

    Hank

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  9. I could feel the tension, taste the pain. Loved the way it oozed with despair. Well done.

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  10. a beautiful poem when emotion speaks and not words....

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  11. This is a sad moment and I can see how it could be frustrating as well. Clearly there are words to be said.

    I like the flow of it and the simple style. Well done.

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    Replies
    1. Also, thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. :)

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  12. Keith,

    It is a sad moment when a parting is about to happen, especially if it is a surprise and without any real explanation...Tears are always involved...

    Eileen

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  13. ah, sadness makes it hard to hide your broken parts.

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  14. So sad, so bittersweet. (I enjoyed your reading! What a cool idea! Really enjoyed your work.)

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  15. Wonderful use of anaphora and epistrophe repetition in this which instills a stilted, conversational reality to the piece. Good writing!

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  16. Yup ... just what Wendy said! LOL! Good conversational aspect to this breakup ... when words escape and 'because' is the only thing one can say ... it does say it all ...

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  17. A story poem ~ beautifully composed.

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  18. Sometimes there is no answer other than because...especially if you are a parent. Relationships and their passing can be a very painful thing.

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  19. And you both knew what the because was... Sad and poignant, Keith.

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