Sunday, June 24, 2012

I'm back!

I've not felt inspired to write anything for the last four weeks, my muse got lost during my house move! But she's back so this really is a eureka moment! I've written this little story for Carry On Tuesday with a nod towards Sunday Scribblings!

Ah, the dreams of childhood. Back then everything seemed possible, if not straight away, definitely in the future!

Next year when my legs are longer I’ll be able to climb up grumpy old Mister Bloggs’s tree and scrump some apples. All the big boys do that and Mister Bloggs runs down his garden shaking a stick and shouting rude words which I’m not allowed to say but I sometimes do because it makes my mates laugh. I wish he had a grape tree because I like grapes better than apples especially the ones Auntie Doris always has by her bed in that big house full of old people she lives in. When I talk to her she says she can't hear me so I shout and she says don't shout I can hear you. She is very old and a bit creased.

When I go to big school I will be the best in my class in every subject especially drawing! One day I’ll have an exhibition in our garden shed and everyone will look closely at my pictures and stroke their chins like experts do, then give me lots of money. I'll have to take Dads tools out, but he won't mind because I'll be a famous artist. In the school nativity play I’ll be Jesus and Sonya will be Mary and she will have to kiss me on the cheek and all my mates will be jealous especially Nathan who fancies her but she doesn’t fancy him. When I grow up I’ll have a wife with really big pair of boobies and Nathan won’t because he’ll end up marrying Jane and she’ll never have big boobies  because she’s little now and always will be.

When I leave school I’ll drive a train and hoot the hooter when I come into the station and make people jump. That’ll be fun. If I don’t drive a train I suppose I could make do with flying an aeroplane like the one that took us to Spain on holiday last year where we stayed in a hotel and the waiter tripped over in the restaurant and spilled food all down a posh man at the next table who was very cross and went very very red and I thought he was going to explode. Do planes have hooters do you think?

I’m going to live on a farm but my farm will be different because it won’t have pigs and cows because they stink of poo. My farm will grow dragons and cabbages and big spiders and even chocolate buttons that grow on trees if I can find a way of doing it. I planted some chocolate buttons in the garden last week but nothings come up yet.

When I’m a man I’ll have a very noisy sports car. No I won’t I’ll have a Rolls Royce, a big bright orange one with a driver who drives it in a black suit with a cap on his head like the man who drove us to the wedding last week except this driver will be mine to keep, not like the one last week who went back to his owner. He said he was called Fred but I won't call mine Fred, I'll call mine Dumbledore or Justin.

One day I’ll be able to stay up until midnight. I’ll be able to sit with grownups and I’ll even like that smelly beer that Dad likes. Tomorrow is Monday and I have to go to school again so I suppose I’d better go to sleep. Last night when I went to sleep I dreamt about, about, abo...........

In the words of Charles Dickens, ‘the dreams of childhood; so good to be believed in once, so good to be remembered when outgrown’.


  1. This was a delightful read, Keith, taking me back the the simple life of childhood where anything is possible and everything seems fun.

  2. you really came back with a splash..the story was really fun to takes one back to childhood...a place we all need to visit more often and
    "hoot the hooter" will forever roam around in my brain...
    those of us on the other side of the pond refer to boobs as hooters so for me it has a great double meaning...

  3. Welcome back Keith!
    This was such a delightful short story. Typical of a busy young boys thoughts of girls and cars and trains and hooters! LOL all of this made me smile :)

  4. Those muses can be devilishly elusive. Mine's been hiding from me until today too. Love this child's-eye view of the world. So full of dreams and plans.

  5. This is super delightful! I especially like that description, "She is very old and creased. At age almost ninety one, I feel that it is a very good description of me. Although I don't think I'm cross. At least not very! What is your new house like?

  6. Hey Keith!
    I'm reading your blog for the first time and man!, you are pretty good!
    The fact that you made me remember my childhood and kept a smile on my face all the while is JUST fantastic!
    Keep it up.

  7. This was a hoot with or without a hooter! I can tell you still remember what it is to be child and I hope you never lose the sense of childlike wonder no matter how old you become.

  8. Yes, welcome back, Keith. You have definitely captured the voice of childhood here. Those were the days. I do think we can still keep this perspective. Not as easy as it once was, but we can try!

  9. The beauty of your writing is that we can expect the unexpected! Even 70 years on I can still remember the days when everything was possible even in war wracked Britain. Driving steam locomotives was the ultimate but big boobies, what were they then?

  10. I have just found your blog and found it both very funny and interesting.
    I'm still trying to decide what I want to do when I grow up too!

    Following from

  11. welcome home, Keith. Lovely post, insightful, clear, honest and true. A delightful read. Thanks for sharing with us. Laurie @ hibernationnow

  12. How dreamy...these thoughts are endless, just like hope in those days. :)

  13. Having been around a few boys the past 10 years I'd say that's pretty close to the mark. :)

  14. Some of us never grow up!!!

  15. You did such a good job of capturing childhood dreams. I am glad your muse returned and graced you with this fine musing...

    Keep writing.

  16. I loved the part with the farm..especially planting the chocolate buttons! Made me think of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory =D

  17. joyful and carefree and hopeful and imaginitive and so creative and a delight! i smiled all the way through! so happy you're writing again, Keith. and i'm very grateful that you are continuing 'Carry on Tuesday' ~ if i'm not participating occasionally it's only because life is keeping me away from writing.

    i enjoyed this immensely!




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