Thursday, October 02, 2008

forbidden

Let me read it to you
single click on arrow

'
It was the end of a perfect summer’s day. They wandered hand in hand around the garden stopping only to look into each other’s eyes and embrace.
.
They were intoxicated by the feelings they had for each other and saw nothing around them but a mist of emotion. All they heard was the sound of songbirds, all they felt was the warmth of the evening sun.

He picked a fragrant bloom and placed it her hair. He held a buttercup under her chin and collected daisies to make her a chain to hang round her neck. She plucked a blushing apple from a bough and they each took a bite.

May they rest in peace
.

29 comments:

  1. AH HA! Not forbidden love, the dreaded forbidden FrUIT!
    great job Keith! :)

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  2. You kept me guessing until the last line! I have always wondered what the forbidden fruit was. I hope it wasn't an apple - especially a Granny Smith.

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  3. Nice job, fruit has a lot to answer for!

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  4. Otherwise, we wouldn't have come into being....

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  5. may we all taste a bit of the forbidden fruit in our lives....

    great post.

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  6. A great finish. Good finale with the pic at the end.

    You were one of the ones who wanted the rest of the story. Here's part. Satire and long.

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  7. Wonderful interpretation!

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  8. Great twist - I love the very human look at those final innocent moments.

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  9. Oh, you sucked me right into this one! Love it!

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  10. A juicy turn on this old favorite, and lots of fun to read!

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  11. Hi Keith, clever stuff and I like the innovative touch with the sound track thingy..

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  12. And I bet it was good too, but there is always a catch.

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  13. ...and it all starts all over again.

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  14. ah this was lovely..to be honest did not expect this to be really about the forbidden fruit..thought there might be a surprise at the end :)

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  15. Did the devil make you write that? Well done.

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  16. I love the spoken word - brilliant! JP/deb

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  17. Forbidden really resonates with the apple, but what does it for me is their death because of their love--Romeo and Juliet style--and the death because of the apple, once again rings true with another story about forbidden love. Well done, and it does a little something more being able to hear you read it. Maybe I will start doing that...
    I cannot wait to see what you think of mine!

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  18. Wow! Fantastic. The music goes perfectly as well.

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  19. Awesome!!!!! Love this - your reading is exquisite - the story superb - actually it reminds me of another story :)

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  20. Lovely! It felt so much romance in this.

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  21. Thank you for visiting!
    You are right, we did go down the same path . . . I wished I hadn't known your twist before I started reading. It would have been a great surprise ending.

    For a great exploration of what perfection could have been like, might I suggest C.S. Lewis' Perelandra. The main character arrives on a planet not yet corrupted by sin and there are Adam and Eve characters--and even a forbidden fruit.

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  22. What a great, thoughtful retelling of two classic stories. . . When I read it a second time, I had to brace myself against the sadness and depth of the last line. Incredible.

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  23. Oh, very well done!

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  24. Oh, very well done!

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  25. Very nicely done. Feels good to be getting caught up on blogs again.

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  26. I liked this one, and I thought the last line below the picture was very haunting, a definite contrast to the beginning

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