Saturday, September 06, 2008

It's a miracle

This weeks prompt on Sunday Scribblings is Miracle

He came marching up to the bar and with a booming voice called out ‘A pint of your finest Guinness landlord, if it so pleases you’. I saw the other drinkers give each other amused looks as he raised the glass of Guinness high in the air, and announced for all to hear ‘This my friends is one of Gods miracles. It goes down as black as ink and comes out a stream of purest gold’

That started everyone off. One guy said that the other day he pulled a clean pair of underpants from his drawer and some dust fell out. He asked his wife if she had put talcum powder in his underwear. She said that it wasn’t talc, it was Miracle-Gro!

Another fellow suddenly became emotional. He had recently become a father and he told his audience that the birth of his child was nothing less than a miracle. His friends commented that given the amount he had to drink each night it was a miracle he managed to get his wife pregnant in the first place!

An old chap then told everyone that his wife used to be bent almost double. She went to the doctor and asked him if he could find her a miracle cure. Five minutes later she walked out standing perfectly erect. His audience asked him what the doctor had done and he told them that the doctor gave her a longer walking stick!

She stranger finished his Guinness, the pulled a large silk handkerchief from his pocket and placed it over his empty glass. He produced a wand from his pocket and gently tapped the glass. With a flourish he whipped away the handkerchief to reveal a bouquet of flowers which he presented to my open-mouthed barmaid. ‘Farewell’ he boomed and with that he was gone.

For the first time in living memory the bar of my pub was in total silence. Now that really was a miracle!

29 comments:

  1. a silent in a bar, surely is a miracle :)

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  2. When you tell a pub story, you are so in your element and your story telling is mesmerizing! Great SS Keith! xo

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  3. Oh, what fun! A whole compendium of jokes in one post!

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  4. Haaaaaaaa a great story ... it could have been in any pub, anywhere in the world ... loved it, thank YOU ;)

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  5. 2nd comment of day: I decided to look at Keith's Images and have been sitting in front of my computer enjoying a feast of wonderful photos.

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  6. A great piece - made me feel right at home. Although I'm a bitter man, myself - draught Guinness is too creamy for me. Mindst you, I used to like the bottles of Guinness, but you don't see them around much nowadays - not so much a miracle, that, but the act of the devil :-)

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  7. Masterful as always......

    Cheers!

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  8. wonderfully told. each story presented stamped a smile on my face.

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  9. Love this! There certainly are miracles everywhere! You are such a good storyteller!

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  10. Great story! That's my idea of a miracle.

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  11. ...and the best miracle of all was the glass of Guinness! Smile...really big big smile!!!

    b

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  12. sometimes i miss the camaraderie of hanging out at the local tavern,, especially when i am here reading a fun post like this....

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  13. I love Guinness. I am brown ale crazy!

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  14. Hilarious! Thanks for the read.

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  15. silence in the bar that's a miracle
    I loved the joke of the walking stick

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  16. I love your stories Keith, good entertainment as usual.

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  17. Awesome! It made my heart to laugh :) Very Very nice post.

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  18. I am laughing out loud! What a entertaining post inded.
    Loved it!
    TJ of TJ'S Expressions
    Miracle Sept. 7,
    http://tjexpressionsblog.blogspot.com/

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  19. You made me laugh! My son heard and came running, "What's so funny? What's so funny?" as I keep reading. I have to stop to answer and say, "This story I am reading!"

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  20. This is what I missed on my break, my funny, creative blog friends. LOL

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  21. I love the string of jokes - but my favorite was the first one. Love the new blog design!

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  22. Terrific! Great site and your posting brings a full blown laugh. Gotta love miracles - wherever and whenever they happen. :)

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  23. Keith ...there's something for you at my blog....hop over and coolect it...

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  24. This is so fine a drum roll to a rimshot! You got rougly nine loves, five greats, and five fun/funnys, all unquestionably, supremely well deserved :-D

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  25. I loved your miracles. I'm asking your permission to turn you walking-stick joke into a poem. If you go to my Blog you'll find I do this a lot of the time, but I'll give you credit.

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  26. Loved all your miracles!

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  27. What a great story. Guinness is indeed the best. Even moreso for the inspiration it gave you!

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  28. Wonderful piece as always! There is a miracle in you!

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