Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Such a devoted couple

This week our friends at (Fiction) Friday asked us to visit a busy locale and write down 10 snatches of overheard conversation then weave them into a piece of prose. I eavesdropped on my train this morning and this is the result - the pieces I wrote down are highlighted in green.

It didn’t get any easier, but for twenty – maybe thirty years, George had taken his morning constitutional around the park. He jokingly said that it was his ‘me time’. Time to get away from his nagging wife Joan. Of course, no one thought he was being serious. As far as everyone knew they were a really loving and devoted couple.

Sit down here George’

George looked around to see from whence the voice came, and then he saw his old mate Tom sitting on a bench feeding the ducks.

Can’t stop Tom’ said George.

Do as you are told’ shouted Tom with a wicked grin on his face.

‘Joan will have my guts for garters if I’m late back’ protested George.

‘My Massie will have mine too if she finds out I’m feeding these sandwiches to the ducks!’ said Tom

Time you traded her in for a new model my friend’ said George with a glint in his eye. ‘One with skin that fits and breasts straight from the oven!’

Tom pulled a bag from his pocket. ‘Have one of these mate – I bought them last week and hid them away in case she found them’.

‘I daren’t George – Joan says I’m allergic to chocolate- she says it makes me put on weight!’

That was the last time George was seen taking a walk. In fact it was the last time anyone remembered seeing George at all, or Joan come to that. Although someone did say that they thought they saw him at the airport with a young Thai girl on his arm.

A couple of weeks ago his house was surrounded by blue and white police tape, and the garden was filled with cops, some using spades and pic-axes to dig up the patio.

Surely not. Not George. He couldn't have. After all, they were such a loving and devoted couple.


  1. ya just never know do ya????

  2. beautifully woven story Keith...
    You amaze me

  3. No wonder women resort to botox and such lol.... Love the spin of this write Keith.

  4. wow..this was wonderfully done...i never saw that coming...


  5. keith you are the best storyteller and so funny as well. What the hell happened?

  6. gotta watch the quiet ones hey?

  7. Nice ending, very easy to read and follow :)

  8. Joan should have known that you can't deny a man his chocolate. . . Very nicely told. I think she may have had it coming.

  9. I'd be likely to do something drastic if I was kept from chocolate.

    I had quite a few giggles while I was reading ... and strangely wasn't offended by skin that didn't fit or breasts not fresh from the oven.

    I'm a late contender this week. You'll find my entry here

  10. This is the first I've heard of fiction friday, and what a skill to be able to weave together such a thought provoking story from another's conversation. Amazing!!



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