Saturday, August 16, 2008

The Dress - part five

This weeks nudge on Matinee Muse is Driven by Obsession which fits really well with my ongoing story The Dress.

She knew Martin was upset when she asked him to leave. More than upset, he was devastated. He was controlling her, driven by an obsession, but clearly didn’t realise. Whatever, he had to go so she could begin to enjoy the happy independent life she craved.

Her mind went back to the last time she saw him. Just before he left he said he would always be there to protect her. Protect her? How was playing with her mind protecting her?

The silence was shattered when the phone burst into life. She grabbed it ‘What are you trying to do to me you sick bastard?’ she screamed. Silence. ‘Answer me’

The few seconds she waited felt like a lifetime. Not a sound, not a breath. Then a muffled voice said ‘Hello Jane. I told them you were dead. Now you have come back. You have put me in a difficult position Jane. I can’t let you come back’.

The door opened and in walked a masked man. He wore the face of the grim reaper. He threw his cell phone on the bed.

‘Martin, what is the matter with you? What are you trying to do to me?’ She held out a shaking hand ‘Look, I’m still your friend. Can’t we talk about it? She tried to sound calm but she knew her trembling voice was giving away her state of utmost terror. He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him. She struggled, twisted and tugged but she was too strong for her.

Suddenly and without warning another figure crashed into the room, leapt on the back of the masked man, pulled him to the ground and smashed his head on the floor until he was motionless.

‘I said I would always protect you’ he said. Then he looked up.

Jane took a sharp intake of breath. ‘Martin’ she cried. She pressed her hand to her mouth as tears began to flow down her cheeks ‘But, but...I thought that was... you. My kitten, my clothes...’

He stood up, looked her in the eye then threw the leopard print dress at her.

‘I’m disappointed with you Jane’ he said almost in a whisper. ‘I mean - you gave this dress away. Our dress. Our special dress’ She noticed he was crying.

go to part six


  1. excellent!!!!! more pleeeez?!

  2. awww! that was so poignant!

    But I love the twist in the end!

    Good Job Keith!

  3. Great drama, atmosphere, and mystery.

  4. These stories come alive. Dramatic.

  5. Great twist at the end, Keith...and it's not even the end yet! I can't wait to read the next's really got me wondering and I'm enjoying it!

  6. Love how small images become important icons in your story! Great write!

  7. Holy cow - now I HAVE to keep reading!



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