Wednesday, August 09, 2017

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Post 1581. Wednesday August 9

Friday Fictioneers



I can't sleep.  I curl into a ball, sheets twisted around me.  I turn this way and that, that way and this. Should I confess; admit it was me? Can I live with myself knowing an innocent soul has been blamed for my misdeeds? But if I own up my friends, family, even my kids will suffer for my transgressions; bullied, ostracised, worse.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock. I hurl the clock across the room. Tick tock yes no tick tock.

I rush to the bathroom and douse my face with water. On the shelf,  I notice some pills. There is a third way.



Thanks Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers and CEAyr for the photograph




66 comments:

  1. I can feel the guilt - I hope he doesn't take the easy way out of his dilemma. Great urgency in this piece Keith.

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  2. Oh God! Nooo!
    Great story , Keith!

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  3. I love moral dilemmas. Nice one, Keith

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    1. Me too, but this is one I wouldn't wish to share!

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  4. No, I wouldn't want to share this dilemma, either. He might take the "easy way" out, but that may never get the other guy off the hook --- unless he left a note saying "I did it, not him."
    You've set the scene nicely; we can feel his anguish. CG/SW

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    1. That is so true. Even I have no idea which way my character chose. Thanks so much for your comment.

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  5. I guess there's always that, but it will still hurt his family.

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    1. At least his secret will di with him.Thanks James

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  6. There are no soft options between hard places.

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  7. Those are two very hard places, but maybe the third is even harder. I hope so.

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  8. His guilt and pain were very well written. And you leave us wanting more!

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  9. Wonderful tension and guilt here. Whatever he did, it's clear that there's no good answer now.

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  10. sleeping pills will definitely help, but he should use in moderation. :)

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    1. I'll mention it to him but I don't think he'll listen! Cheers plaridel.

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  11. He really is in a bad spot. The opening paragraph sets the tone so well. Nice piece!

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  12. What a great preamble to disaster.

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  13. You are right... same title, totally different story!
    The tension is palpable and hopefully he doesn't take the easy way out which is by not confronting whatever it is that he has done...

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    1. He is unable to think clearly, so who knows what he'll do. Thanks Dale.

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  14. He may be wrestling with an uncomfortable action of his, but suicide is the worst answer. Evidently he really doesn't feel love for his family or he wouldn't do this to them! Nice story and easy to picture! Awesome!

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    1. I felt he was confused and unable to think clearly. Thanks for your comment, much appreciated.

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  15. Prevention is always better than cure. I'm sure he'd love to hear me rush in the door and quote that aphorism as he's tormented by his actions and what to do next.
    I enjoy this kind of flash where the reader is left to formulate their own ending. I'd like to see him "be a man" and come forward. While this will bring shame to his family and all those negative consequences, there would also be the honourable upside where he would gain a sense of respect, courage and honour for coming forward and taking his punishment. Not letting an innocent man pay for his crime. If he stays silent now and the truth comes out later, then he'll be needing those pills. The consequences would be far worse.
    Well done, Keith.
    xx Rowena

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    1. Thank you so mucch for your insightful analysis of his dilemma. There would be 'double shame' in owning up - firstly for the crime and secondly for letting someone else take the blame. Quite a dilemma.

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  16. Oh dear, the third way's not the best option. Maybe option four - do a runner and make a new start? I could feel his anxiety as he worried over what had happened and what's to come.

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    1. I'll sugest it to him if it's not too late! Cheers Alistair.

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  17. Oh dear, what a dilemma. Whatever he choses, he'll hurt his family. Great writing, very effective.

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    1. A no-win situation. Thanks for your generous words Ga H

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  18. Pushed so far by guilt - could be a grim outcome here. Well spun tale Keith

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  19. Very nicely done! I've spent so many nights not being able to sleep. You captured that feeling so well plus the feeling of guilt.

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    1. Things of concern seem twice as bad at night, not that his dilemma could get any worse. Thanks Alicia

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  20. Thoughts and feelings magnify when you can't sleep. I hope he makes it to the morning.

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    1. Something we all experience I imagine. Thanks so much Clare

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  21. I can feel the rock and hard place getting closer together, clamping down to twist his mind.

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    1. They are certainly closing in on him. Cheers Russell

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  22. His guilt is gnawing him and the big question is : to own up or not to? the Sword of Damocles hanging. nice story.

    http://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/08/re-invent.html

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  23. That third way would leave the family vulnerable too.

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  24. The guy is a coward, an escapist. Great story, Keith.

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  25. Dear Keith,

    Now there's a lose-lose situation. The innocent still carries the blame and guilty man's family suffers still. Good story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    My story's here:
    https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/08/09/11-august-2017/

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    1. That are no winners here. Thanks so much Rochelle

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  26. That is a subtle piece. A dilemma well penned.

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  27. good take, Keith :) I could feel the tense and the dilemma

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  28. Oh this is so sad... The dilemma has been captured perfectly. Really wish there was a better way out though :(

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  29. Well written Keith! The angst and the dilemma comes out really well.

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  30. Omg, I hope he doesn't take his chosen path. Well written Keith, you described his dilemma well.
    Regards,
    kittysverses.wordpress.com

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    1. Whilst writing this I felt me might, but who knows, even I don't! Tanks Aishwarya

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  31. Great take on the image...I want to know what he has done!

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    1. Whatever it was, it was pretty terrible for sure. Thanks Bettina.

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  32. That's indeed a hard choice. I know someone who really did take that path. Great take Keith!

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    1. Oh gosh, that must have been awful. Thanks so much for commenting

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  33. Good one, I like stories with an hint, but no reveal.

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