Saturday, May 20, 2017

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Post 1534. Sunday May 21
Sunday’s Whirligig


 'Forgive me, Father' he mutters in hushed tones not certain he wishes the priest to hear his confession. 
The weary padre in his moth-eaten cassock slouches beyond the wooden lattice fidgeting with a worn wooden cross.

Two lonely creatures together. Each is the closest thing to a friend the other has.

One, a habitual thief, an insomniac who does wrong whilst sometimes wishing to be caught if only to commune with other people, albethey behind bars.

The other, a college educated defender of the faith. Once a cleanser of soiled souls, but now confused. What happened to his faith? When did it desert him? Why?

They both remember happier times.

'Ten hail Marys' mutters one as the other meanders from the confessional. Ten hail Marys.





The twelve given words at this week's Sunday’s Whirligig are - confused, insomniac, wrong, dial, remember, lonely, soul, college, cleanses, thief, defender and hear. I employed eleven.

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23 comments:

  1. Hi Keith - well done ... a solitary priest in woe-begone surroundings ... Two Lost Souls indeed ... cheers Hilary

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  2. Aha - made me think of Father Brown.. I love the TV version..and how you transport us to the confessional..of course!

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    1. That hadn't occurred to me, but I see what you're getting at! Cheers Jae

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  3. I had the same thought as Jae. This so reminded me of Father Brown. And alas, I must wait for another season.

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    1. You too Denise? Thanks for dropping by.

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  4. Nicely done using the words! You really captured their desolation.

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  5. Clever use of the words. Excellent wordle poem. Ten Hail Marys? These modern priests are far too lenient. A return to the good ole days of sack cloth and ashes is what's needed LOL

    If the priest's faith has deserted him he should pack a bag, make an appointment to see the Bishop and collect his deposit for an apartment. That is what happened to the last priest I know of who had lost his faith and decided to leave.

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    1. It must be a difficult place to be. I didn't realise the church would be so helpful in that situation. Thanks so much for commenting

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  6. Creative take on the words. You've captured their lost souls well in their brief interaction, their uncertainties. The last line makes me think the priest is unsure "Ten Hail Marys" will help this person, or maybe he's saying it as much for himself as for the confessor, as a way to find his own self back to faith. Just my take.

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    1. I left it fairly open to interpretation but your take is pretty well what I had in mind when I thought of the story. Thanks so much.

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  7. Sad and yet probably very close to home for many in these days.

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  8. Story writing comes easy for you Keith as I guess you are an observer and notice even the smallest things all around you wherever you are. Well done for getting all but oneof the words in.

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    1. Praise indeed from such an acomplished poet. Thank you so much OE

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  9. Oh my gosh, Keith, I just love this! You stopped way too soon. I would love to know both these guys' backstories and see what their relationship might develop into. What a teaser!

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    1. I wonder too! Thanks for your generous words.

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  10. This seemed effortless and organic, great flow, great story. Wouldn't have guessed you wrote it incorporating those words if you hadn't said it. Kudos!

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  11. That was such a good read - I'm always in awe of how you take random words and weave them into such excellent little stories, Keith.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

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  12. I like how this came together from a handful of words to a such a meaningful story. Great job, wordsmith!

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  13. There's more than a smidgen of truth in this one, that's humanity all right....

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  14. I feel for the characters in your story. Perhaps , thats the core of real story writing.

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