Saturday, January 21, 2017

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Post 1431. Saturday January 21

The Sunday Whirl






He never wanted to be a burden, but so it had been from his unwanted birth ‘til today.

          So out he went into the darkness of a winter’s night...

His mother simply couldn’t cope, poor soul. No fault of hers. She'd be better without him.

          ...down the road, climb the fence...

He had reached out to touch her heart but in vain.

          ...cross the field and enter the woods...

He thought it best to leave. He hoped that by doing so his heavy load would be lifted from her shoulders.

          ...up a slope, over some rocks...

By the light of dawn, he would be far away, in another place.

           ...along a narrowing track...

For the first time, he felt able to give her something. Her freedom.

          ...and lost his way at ... 

The end


 



At this week’s The Sunday Whirl, the given words are burden, birth, heart, soul, hope, earth, light, give, cope, heavy, touch and reach..




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15 comments:

  1. Let's hope it was - and that her dialogue matched his thoughts.. otherwise both maybe lost.. superb piece Keith

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  2. So sad, though, Keith. Nicely written.

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  3. this is superb, action and thoughts, Keith :)

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    1. Thanks so much ladylee. Much appreciated.

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  4. Bad Keith! Half the story and we have to make judgement, with so many question of why he couldn't help or work?; Where's the father?; Does the mother bear no responsibility and doesn't she love him? Why is her life more valuable than his? Couldn't Rosey help? Did the bears or wolves get him?

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    1. Haha! Rosey help? As for your questions - we, the observers will never know.

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  5. The ever troubling thoughts circling his mind. He might have feelings of an unwanted child. He was trying to make amends to the guilt of being born and of the burden he brought to his mother! Thoughtful take Keith!

    Hank

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    1. That's exactly what I hoped to convey Hank. Thanks so much

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  6. A very good story. So sad. Makes he wonder about the rest of his life, if there was one. Then one has to wonder what this turn of events did to his Mother.

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  7. I liked the mystery this story was wrapped in, so many unanswered questions and an ending left to our interpretation. My favorite kind of tale, well done!

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