This will be my last piece for a couple of weeks as I’m heading off to Dubai to spend some sunshine time with my family who live there, and to visit the amazing Emirates Literary Festival - not as guest speaker sadly!
This week's given words at 3WW are naked, piercing and obey, and at Sunday Scribblings 2, dither.
"Eve, do you promise to love, honour and obey Adam in sickness and…." There was a gasp from the congregation. Father O’Hare looked a trifle embarrassed as well he might in today’s politically correct world.
Take two. "Eve, do you promise to love and honour Adam in sickness and …." The onlookers were still somewhat unhappy. The learned father wiped the sweat from his glistening bald head with the back of his shaking hand. (he was known colloquially as Father No’Hare!)
What to do? The Reverand Father was not normally one to dither.
What to do? The Reverand Father was not normally one to dither.
Ah yes. "Eve, do you promise to love and cherish Adam in sickness and …" He was interrupted by a round of applause.
"Where was I?" he mumbled as he attempted to compose himself. "Oh yes...in sickness and health, clothed or….erm….naked, 'til death…" The guests cheered!
He had never before been asked to officiate at a naturist wedding. The top of his head was not the only part of him naked today. Just a dog-collar and a cross on a chain adorned his quivering bulk. As for Eve, a few flowers in her hair was all she wore. Adam had some blooms tied to his... well, I’ll leave that to your imagination and what you envisage will depend on how broad-minded you are.
Father O’Hare made it to the end and pronounced them wife and man (he thought it would go down better that way round) . He sat down, relieved that the ordeal was over. To the surprise of the unclothed onlookers, he suddenly let out a yell and leapt in the air, some parts of his well-endowed body being left trailing as he shot heavenward, then carrying on upwards as he flew back down again.. Several folk crossed themselves, other muttered prayers thinking that perhaps the Divine One disapproved of such going on and was voicing his distaste through Father O'Hare’s straining vocal chords. Actually, all that happened was the hapless priest had plonked himself down on a particularly vicious bramble branch, the thorns of which were piercing his flabby butt most severely.
The funniest thing of all though is Father O’Hare has now embraced naturism himself. Hallelujah!
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a marriage and oath, very serious write.
ReplyDeletea happy ending is needed, thanks for the morning dew.
ha ha this is truly fun read
ReplyDeleteDead good! Father O'Bare, perhaps?
ReplyDeleteAmzing, I loved loved loved the read
ReplyDeleteAnd I like the new no-nonsense look of your blog
ReplyDeleteWould you Adam and Eve it - praise be indeed - have a wonderful time in Dubai - maybe leave Rosey home i can imagine all sorts of scrapes..in fact squeeze her in your suitcase and we look forward to hearing what happened - bon voyage
ReplyDeleteAnd I didn't even register it was Adam and Eve who got married. Very cheeky :-). What a laugh!
ReplyDeleteI thought it was too. :)
DeleteNaughty Father O'Hare; which of the other naturists did he embrace? What a fun parting post as you head off to Dubai. I look forward to your photographic record of the visit.
ReplyDeleteHow fun is this! Nice.
ReplyDeleteIf you can't fight them join them. Chuckles! Witty piece Keith. Enjoy your Dubai break!
ReplyDeleteHank
If you can't fight them join them. Chuckles! Witty piece Keith. Enjoy your Dubai break!
ReplyDeleteHank
Ha Ha! Truly, a fun read! :)
ReplyDeletelovely.
ReplyDeleteVery nice! Enjoy your break
ReplyDelete