Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The mêlée

Daniel has accused Caroline of cheating on him.


“Don’t shout at me like that Daniel.

I said don’t shout at me!   

No I didn’t meet him Daniel.

I told you I did not meet him. How many more times do I have to say it?

Daniel, I’m not lying. It’s no good going on and on at me. I’m not listening to you any more.

Don’t shove me. I’ve warned you. Get your hands off me now Daniel. I’m not going to tell you again. 

How dare you hit me you bastard!

See how you like it”.




"Oh God Daniel, I'm sorry.

Daniel, speak to me, don't just lie there.

Dan, it's not funny. Open your eyes.

Dan

Dan

Daaaaan”




Picture: Anonymous from Google Images edited by Keith Hillman on Ribbet

Tomorrows piece will be a very short and poignant a tale of our times. It's called  No name, just a number.

25 comments:

  1. hopefully she'll get a not-guilty due to self defense! You write good short stories! Fun to read them!

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    1. I wonder! Thanks for dropping by Kathe. It's 2am here and I didn't expect any visitors so soon after posting it - you made me jump!

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  2. quite a melee with unexpected ending. ( the first "to" in the post should read "do'"please correct)

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  3. Oh wow! I bet she didn't see that happening when she gave him a hit.

    betty

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    1. He didn't, and to make it worse she broke her favourite vase!

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  4. That got way out of hand! Yeah, he pushed her too far. I like the word "melee".

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    1. I've always liked that word and it's the first time I've found a use for it!

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  5. Oh oh! That got nasty fast. Says how much built up tension was already there. Well done. Good luck with the Challenge!

    Visiting from Untethered Realms

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  6. Great use of dialogue - a lot of tension, and a great twist!

    Annalisa, writing A-Z vignettes, at Wake Up, Eat, Write, Sleep

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  7. That's very intense and emotional. Good job!

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    1. Glad it had the desired effect! Thanks M!

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  8. Ooh, another chiller. You weren't kidding. ~grin~ Best wishes! Oh, and my blog is number 1271 on the A to Z list today.

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  9. Oh My God! The scenario changed pretty quickly! Great twist! :)

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  10. Wonderful tension in dialogue, I can really feel her panic at the end.

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  11. Wow! A story only in dialogues. I've tried this, but flopped.

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  12. Wow! A story only in dialogues. I've tried this, but flopped.

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  13. Oh no! Bad begets bad, begets worse.... (this isn't English but you understand, don't you)

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