Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Major has a hot flush!

It's Three Word Wednesday time again and this week our given words are Chilly Glorious and Petite

It should have been a glorious event. Sadly it wasn’t, due to constant interruptions by Mickey Dobson who just had to keep heckling. 

It was the afternoon of the Fittlewick Flower and Vegetable Society’s summer show awards and the villagers were crowded around the platform in eager anticipation of walking away with prizes.

In the fluttering marquee Mrs Green’s gooseberries stood proudly alongside  Mr Adam’s artichokes, Mr Cox’s cucumber and Mrs Cook’s cabbages.  Little Miss Peters' petite petits-pois were like arranged like tiny green jewels.

Opposite stood an equally impressive floral display. Miss Mason’s magnolias were magnificent and Mr Shaw’s sunflowers shone. As for the Reverend Richard’s roses, well praise be!

As far as the eye could see the sagging wooden trestle benches displayed every type of flower, fruit and veg imaginable. 

Mickey Dobson had entries on both tables. Sadly his Dahlias had drooped and his peas were passed their best. His beans were brown and his petunias mostly petal-less.

But as far as he was concerned his exhibits should have been awarded the Best in Show Shield.  And boy did he complain as one by one the awards were handed out to everybody but him.

He moaned when John James received his certificate for the biggest and best beetroots, he jeered when Mr Pocock's potatoes were praised and went bonkers as Mr. Brooks was handed the Best Basket of Blossoms bronze badge.

The atmosphere was chilly to say the least. After a while the village policeman PC Percy Potter had to put down his glass of Mr Winstanley’s winning white wine and intervene.

Mickey Dobson was duly escorted towards the exit. “A curse on your cauliflowers and blight on your begonias” he yelled at the red faced and furious Master of Ceremonies Major Mason.

Calm was restored and the MC started speaking again. “And now dear folk I will open the Golden Envelope and reveal the name of the winner of this season’s coveted Silver Shovel and Spade Set for the villages best overall garden”

 A hush descended on the tent.

“And the award goes to...oh...erm.." The Major stopped speaking and started fanning his face with his hands as his cheeks and nose reddened..

"PC Potter, would you mind popping outside and bringing Mickey Dobson back please?”


  1. Lol Silver Shovel and Spade Set for the villages best overall garden goes to poor sport Mickey Dobson

  2. It used to be "It's not over till the fat lady sings" however clearly Major Mason has taken over. Seeing how he acted I can see Mickey won't be happy with that either.

  3. Village fayres can be brutal events - Have you ever watched the latest version of Father Brown? It reminded me of that...there's can be a lot of risk in baking a Victoria sponge

    1. I have indeed - the similarity hadn't occurred to me!

  4. LOL how funny, I bet Mickey has a red face now! Hee hee

  5. Very nice use of alliteration.