Friday, January 14, 2011

A little white lie and a lot of courage!

This won’t hurt’ said Rosey, one hand behind her back with her fingers crossed. Of course, she knew it was going to hurt. Hurt like crazy, but if her friend Jess wanted silky smooth legs, then suffering a couple of seconds of pain was a price well worth paying. And a white lie well worth telling! 

It had taken all the courage she could muster. Jess lay there with her eyes screwed closed, and her face contorted into a grisly mask in anticipation of the torture about to begin. Every muscle in her body was tense. Rosey grabbed hold of the wax sheet stuck to Jess’s leg and commenced the countdown. Three two one pull! Well, Jess screamed and shot her other leg outwards - straight into Roseys thigh!  Rosey went hurtling backwards and landed on her back on a glass coffee table which smashed into several pieces. In the process she somehow twisted her ankle. At least she thought she had just twisted it.

A couple of hours later Rosey was sitting in the casualty department of the local hospital waiting to have her broken ankle attended to. Jess was sitting alongside her pressing a packet of frozen peas to her bright red leg with quite a bit of its skin missing.

Rosey didn’t take to walking with crutches. She couldn’t work out how to co-ordinate her movements, it was like having four legs, two of which had a mind of their own. Before long she’d managed to get her hands on a wheelchair and Jess became her ‘pusher’, hobbling along  with one leg wrapped in a white bandage.

One day in a local mall she managed to loan an electric buggy. She’s never completely got the hang of driving her car, but left in charge of a claret coloured Shindler Lectro-Shopper she was a hazard to all around her! Her finest moment was when unbeknown to her, she managed to get its rear fender hooked onto a chrome rail of skirts in a clothes shop. Completely unaware of the drama unfolding behind her, she shot off down the centre isle  with half a dozen shop assistants trotting along in her wake picking up garments and attempting to attract her attention.

That was all a few weeks ago. Rosey is now getting along with aid of a single crutch, and apart from tripping up the odd passerby, she seems to be managing quite well. Jess has a little less bandaging on her damaged leg now and has gone back to shaving the other one.

A couple of days ago Rosey’s friend Julie managed to dislocate her shoulder. As I’m sure you recall, Rosey is trained in first aid, so she was delighted to be asked to assist her poor friend. Firstly Jess stood behind Rosey to help her stand without her crutch, then Rosey stood behind Julie and arranged her arms over Julies damaged shoulder. Everyone stood around watching, open mouthed. ‘This won’t hurt’ said Rosey. ‘One two three.......

Written for Writers Island and (Fiction)Friday


  1. Ouch! I feel very courageous for having read that right to the end!
    Now I know why I have hairy legs... Very well constructed story.

  2. I loved this, the part with the crutches rminded me of my mum who had them once, it was hysterical! and I loved 'Jess has a little less bandaging on her damaged leg now and has gone back to shaving the other one' a great read :o)

  3. I use those battery operated scooters whenever they are available and it's amazing what can happen while wheeling down all those narrow aisles, lol. This was a fun read from beginning to end.


  4. Keith, sounds like Rosey is a bit of a calamity Jane. That waxing thing is just torture. I'll stick to the traditional way.Nice read.

  5. Say no to waxing... silly girl.. She is like a naughty two year old!! lol

    Hugs Giggles

  6. Yikes....I liked this and thanks for sharing

  7. Great typical Rosey story. The waxing thing doesn't appeal to me and I better stay away from it

  8. Hilarious. I like how you've captured the worst case scenario feel, here. Sometimes it feels as if some people are cursed to suffer the "if it can go wrong, it will go wrong" type of life. The ending was perfect, leaving me wondering what horrific, but hilarious, adventure Rosie is in for next.

  9. Oh our dear Rosie! What would we all do without her. Thank you for sharing.




Dear WORDPRESS friends. If you are having difficulty posting please 'Comment as' either:-

a) Name/URL
b) Anonymous with your name included in your comment.

Thank you!