Saturday, August 08, 2009

Mary bought lots of new things!

The subject at Sunday Scribblings this week is New

It was years ago. I was only a kid but I remember her so well. Her name was Mary and she was ancient! Well, when you are eight anyone twice your height is ancient! But Mary really was. She always looked cross to us. Several of my friends were convinced she was a witch!

Anyway, one day she won some money. Seems she came up trumps on the football pools.
According to the grownups it really was quite a lot of money.

Mary decided to spend it all on herself, after all she lived on her own and we were sure she never had any children. Imagine having her as your mum! Woo!

She only had one tooth. It was right at the front and she used to call it her pickle chaser. The first thing she treated herself to was a new set of false teeth! I remember the first time we saw her with them in. She grinned at us and looked just like a pantomime horse! She was in the cafe later that day and she obviously thought she’d treat herself to something that required a full set of gnashers. I suppose she’d had got fed up with gumming her food for years! I can’t remember what it was she ordered but I’ll never forget the sight of her sitting there chewing something. Trouble was, whilst her jaw was chomping up and down, her teeth were standing still, stuck together!

She never had much hair. What she had was sort of white and wispy! So you can imagine our surprise when one day she appeared with a pile of new hair on her head! Not just any hair. It was dark brown and wavy and with each step she took it jerked an inch or so to the right and every now and then she had to straighten it! It was so funny to watch!

Mary used to ride a bicycle. A funny old ‘sit up and beg’ one with a wicker basket on the front in which she carried her scruffy little dog. She used to wobble all over the place. How she never had an accident I’ll never know. Well, the next purchase she made was a new bike. Actually it wasn’t a bicycle because it had three wheels! One at the front and two at the back so I suppose that made it a tricycle. It took her a while to get used to it. She seemed to forget it was wider than her old one and she kept catching one of the back wheels on the kerb and suddenly grinding to a halt! I saw it happen once and she stopped so suddenly that her wig shot forward over her eyes!

Talking of eyes, she got some fancy new spectacles. She looked as if she had a giant multicoloured butterfly perched on her nose!

I’m sure she bought lots of other new things, but I can’t remember them all now. I know she gave a lot of money to the dogs home when her little dog died, but I’m not sure what became of Mary. I must try and find out just for old times sake!
Just a reminder that the new prompt for Carry On Tuesday can be seen HERE!



  1. A fun recollection. There aren't many of those characters left. A great shame.

  2. Apart from the Pools win - she reminds me of a few 'old dears' from my own childhood.

  3. She sounds like quite the character...and you truly brought her to life! Great post.

  4. great tale Keith! the image of her with her scruffy dog in the bikes basket brought back another beloved old witch that used to scare the daylights out of me!
    u are a great story teller! xo

  5. I love this Keith. She reminds me of an old bloke who lived on the corner of my Mum & Dad's street. He held the dubious honor of being the only one we knew of who was booked by the police for riding his pushbike down the main street of Wagga under the influence of alcohol. His doggie was always beside him too. He he. Also put me in mind of my old doctor who had a really bad wig (it was thick and grey and looked like the fibres were glued together to stop them moving out of style) that I couldn't keep from staring at all the time even though I tried soooo hard not to. Oh! I could go on with memories of funny sights I have seen.

  6. you write great stories. they are fun to read nice work

  7. I loved this tale and now I'm wishing for the back story! What was she like when she was young? Where was her family? You made me like her.

  8. What a great character. I love her choices of new things. Luxury can be found in the bare necessities.



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