Sunday, August 02, 2009

He didn't expect that!

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This week the prompt at Sunday Scribblings is one word - anticipate!
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Let me read along! Just click on the arrow.


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Benjamin Franklin once said do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

Once upon a time there was man called Jim. A middle aged man, nothing unusual about him. The sort of person you’d hardly ever notice. Everything in his house was neat and tidy and in perfect working order. He was a reliable hard working soul who loved his wife Jenny without really showing it. She was like him. A wife in the traditional sense. She cleaned and cooked and dusted and preened.

Jim always had a stock of bulbs for the lights. You never know when one will need replacing he always said. And he knew exactly where to lay his hand on a candle no matter which room he was in. You need to be prepared in case of a power cut he would say.

Jenny liked to keep the larder stocked. We need to have plenty of food in stock in case we get snowed in she told her friends. She had a cupboard stuffed with toilet rolls too. She couldn’t bear the thought of running out.

They always took their holidays in the same place in the same caravan on the same site. We wouldn’t risk going anywhere else they said. This way we can be sure of a good time they said. They didn’t trust foreign places. People get upset stomachs abroad they’d heard. All that strange foreign food. They eat horses in France.

Jenny liked to do competitions. The competitions you find on packets and in magazines and newspapers. She was quite good. She once won a television and she was forever claiming small prizes and free samples. Then one day she won a holiday. She didn’t want to win a holiday. The second prize was a year’s supply of washing powder which would have been very useful. After all you never know when you might run out.

Jim and Jenny’s son made up his mind they would accept the prize. It would do them good to go somewhere different he thought. And it always rained when they went to the caravan. It didn’t often rain in Barbados. The sunshine would do them good.

Quite how he persuaded them remains a mystery but persuade them he did and three months later they were sitting in a plane rushing down the tarmac in the direction of the Caribbean. They spent the first hour or so studying the safety leaflet in case they landed in the sea then practicing the exercises – they heard that some people disembarked with something called deep vein thrombosis and they didn’t want to be one of them.

They settled into their hotel quite well. Barbados was a bit hot for their taste but they made their minds up that they would have a good time.

They liked the beach. The beach where they normally holiday that is. Nothing wrong with pebbles, they don’t get into your sandwiches the way sand does. But there was one thing they didn’t anticipate – ladies with their breasts exposed. They weren’t so concerned about the semi-nudity although they didn’t fully approve. Jenny certainly wasn’t going to go native! No, it was the fact that they were exposing so much of their bodies to the scorching sun. They had read about the deadly effect that it could have. But Jenny decided to sit in the sun. After all, a few hours a day for a couple of weeks could do no harm.

Jim was not happy about it. Don’t blame me if you are dead in a year he told her. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. He decided he would sit under a palm tree in the shade.

Unfortunately that was to be their last holiday together. A coconut dropped on his head and killed him. Such a shame he didn’t heed the advice of Benjamin Franklin!


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Don't forget Carry On Tuesday. The new prompt can be found HERE!
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11 comments:

  1. ahhhh... what an end!

    Another quote::
    There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.
    Josh Billings

    A coconut once dropped on my aunt's head.

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  2. Goodness Keith, I am sometimes a bit like that, I want to be safe, but what do I miss out on by being so?
    Good story mate.

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  3. Hey Keith....Good work.
    I found it rather funny but also delivers the message so well....Keep in the sunlight!

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  4. Makes me wonder if Jenny will take more unplanned holidays now or hide in her little house permanently LOL!

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  5. That was awesome and some great advice to boot!

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  6. I love it when you read the stories but I wanna see you reading them too. Will be like an episode of Jackanory with better stories. Do you still have Jackanory over there?

    My favourite part was when you lost your train of thought when you mentioned the breasts. Typical :)

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  7. clever to add the verbal read along...

    i'll be back for tuesday's prompt this week...


    ...at least i hope i will.

    :)

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  8. a coconut? life certainly isn't fair is it? Much better if he had been brained by his wife for looking at the bare breasts.

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  9. one just never knows what will happen in a day. Your ending surprised me.

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  10. I was all geared up for a plane crash, not a coconut. VERY well done!!! I try to keep in the sunlight, but it has rained a lot this summer.

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  11. OMG! you really hacve done it well.
    if only he paid heed the result would have been different.
    well done keith

    Anticipating, Your Reality

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