Rosey and I decided to meet for lunch today. It was a beautiful sunny morning and warm. More like April than February. We arranged to have a drink first at a bar at Sovereign Harbour in Eastbourne.
Now this bar is on the second level above the other restaurants and bars, and has a lovely sun terrace where you can look down at the boats and people below. Anyway, we both ordered pints of IPA and leaned on the railing to watch the world from on high.
Unfortunately Rosey let her full glass tilt slightly letting a small trickle of beer find its way to the level below and onto the shiny bald head of an old gentleman sitting below. We thought it would be prudent to retreat inside before he looked up and spotted us!
Then off we went to one my favourite town pubs, The Marine in Eastbourne. Whenever I go there I tuck into one of their fabulously succulent half pound burgers dripping with chilli con carne!
It’s a messy meal to eat and best approached with pair of eating irons rather than attempting to pick it in your hands! Now I have something of a reputation for covering myself in food with
anything runnier than a cheese sandwich. But if you think I’m clumsy, then you can’t have seen Rosey!
So when she decided to join me in a chilli burger I subtly suggested she reconsider and perhaps order a ham salad instead! But no, she was determined, so armed with a pint each of Harveys best, knives and forks, and a million paper napkins, we set about the task of manoeuvring our food from the plate to the mouth!
I started off well! But Rosey fell at the first hurdle! She dug her fork into the part of the burger nearest the rim of her plate and pressed down on it with her knife. The plate suddenly tilted catapulting a shower of tomatoes lettuce and red kidney beans all over the people sitting at the next table!
The whole thing was observed two elderly grey people sitting opposite who were vaguely reminiscent of couple of sacks of vegetables. They were slowly chewing the cud, stopping only briefly to simultaneously tut-tut!
This episode reminded me of another occasion when a group us went out for a ruby at the Ashoka Tandoori. Indian restaurants are always busy about the time the pubs close, and this night was no exception. Dear Rosey had been on the chardonnay for about 4 hours at The Cavalier in Carlisle Road and was a little squiffy to say the least!
Well when her meal arrived, a chicken tikka massala, she wasted no time in digging her spoon in and aiming it in the direction of her mouth. I say in the direction. The spoon shot up, her mouth opened, but the curry went straight over her right shoulder. Not once but again and again. She was getting increasingly frustrated and hungrier by the minute until our friend Pete decided to forget his own dish of food for the time being and act as a human navigation system by grasping Roseys wrist and guiding her spoon in the right direction. The task was not made any easier when Rosey got a fit of the giggles then nearly choked!
As the waiter arrived with a somewhat timely plate of hot moist towels, Rosey raised her glass to him, and in her best private school accent said ‘Cheers big ears, her it goes nose, up your bum chum’.
Now I’ve heard her use this toast before – she once stood up at a very starchy wedding feast and proposed it to a startled table of diners. I had hoped that my little lecture on the unsuitability of these words in all but the most private of functions would have sunk in, but no!
At least with Rosey around, life’s never dull.
To read all of Roseys adventures so far click here!