Friday, February 29, 2008

(Fiction) Friday - The text message

I’m not as great fan of mobile phones. Call me old fashioned but I still like proper telephones with that curly cable that gets in a knot! Somehow I feel more connected to the person the other end – almost as if I have them on a lead!

I always like to keep up with modern trends so I got myself a mobile. A cell phone. Only a cheap one, but it seems to work.

A few days after getting it, it bleeped. And bleeped and bleeped and bleeped. Not only that, it vibrated against my leg which was most disconcerting. After going through various pockets, I eventually located the little blighter.

Now my eyesight isn’t too bad, but how was I supposed to read those tiny words? Anyway, I popped my specs on the end of my nose and squinted at the diminutive screen.

Well, I found myself trying to make sense of a series of strange words and odd letters. If I recall correctly it said.
hi how u doin. c-in r tomoz. 4t u mite cum 2. b gd. luv m.’

I was a little unsure what M, presumably Mary, was trying to convey to me, so I thought I’d have a go at replying.
Now the young man in the phone shop – I say man, he was barely out of nappies – had told me it was set to ‘predictive text’. It seems that it somehow reads my thoughts and texts what it thinks I want to say. So off I went. Slowly and carefully.

‘Hell mare. Watch was yolk massage a boot. I did nut undertake it. Plaice cool me. Key.'

Well, when I read it back, it was worse than the one I got from Mary! What would she make of it! Her message was a mystery to me, and doubtless mine would be to her.

So I called her on my proper phone. She told me she was seeing Rosey tomorrow night and she thought I might like to come too.

So I did!


  1. Hilarious....I feel the exact same way...I feel like wearing a big sign around my neck. DO NOT TEXT ME...EVER! It's expensive too...I also like the feeling of a cord least I don't feel like my head is getting zapped with cancer....goes for cordless phones too...which make me suspect when they get a bit hot!!!
    Great post Keith!

    Hugs from the Canadian!

  2. Oh keith, this is wonderful! I've been chuckling away over my mocha whilst reading this and getting funny looks from those around me!

    Thanks for making me smile this morning:)

  3. Been at the recieving end like this too...most days i'm like huh!!! now who is A, B, C.....?? Then again trying to decipher the words...gosh, not enuf tension for us....
    yes, I agree the old fashioned telephone is nothing compared!!!

  4. Hey Keith,
    What a wonderfull old telephone, we do not see those anymore...

    You were visiting my blog a while ago and I was thinking of your blog and Marja's because a friend of mine is starting a writing group, do you mind that I give your blog adress to her?

    Please be so kind to aswer my question on my blog? Thanks

    Greetings from JoAnn (Holland)
    Watch my friday's ABSTRACT sky

    Have a wonderfull week end:)

  5. I hate texting in the first place, but can manage it... so long as the predictive text is turned OFF! I'll take the time to tap buttons multiple times any day over that stupid thing.

  6. oh this was so funny, esp. your message back to M, i have never texted in my life...since mobiles here charge for that option, i havent taken it...i love typing but not on key pads that is half the size of my palm!!

  7. Oh God.. I am constantly discovering new short forms.. my cousin once wrote me an email .. about 10 lines long and I took half a day trying to figure it out!! Using Google of course!! Now I cant wait to hear what happened when you met Rosey!! :)

  8. That is hilarious....Since moving to Canada I have found that most people around me do not know "texteze" fact, many of them do not have mobiles.....coming from Europe (the Netherlands and then the UK) I find that frustrating!!! Just this morning my own son asked me to "speak English" as I sent him a message!

  9. ROFLMAO could you plaic cool me 2Key lol? Great post and another great beginning to a meet up with Rosey.

  10. Keith,
    I went back and reread the message from Mary a few times before I could understand it - even with the translation. Very funny. Like the picture of the telephone.


  11. Guess it must show how used to texting I am that I understood Mary's message straight away, and how used I am to certain relatives who don't get predictive text that I even understood your reply!

    I think it's a European v North American thing. We've been texting almost as long as we've been using mobile phones, and in the days when you could only send one message of very limited characters, you tried to abbreviate as far as possible! When I went to the US, nobody "did" text messaging.

    Very nice old style phone - you can get phones like that even today. Of course, they plug into computers using USB connections are meant for VOIP calls... ;-)

  12. :) :) :)
    Gimme the old fashioned phone any day...i love the phone btw.....



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