Monday, October 29, 2007

Writers Island - Haunted

He was scared - very scared. Never before had he felt such fear. He was running, faster and faster. It was dark - too dark to see, yet he had to run. It felt as if his life depended on it. Run, run. Don’t look back.

He hurtled between the trees. Tripping. Stumbling. He bounced from one trunk to another. His shoulder throbbed with pain and one arm hung limp and useless.

A quick glance behind, then suddenly the ground below disappeared. With a thump and a splash he landed in water. For a moment he froze as the icy stream washed over his aching limbs, and at once the pains abated.

Suddenly he was aware of a branch falling towards him. He scrambled to his feet as a massive bow crashed to the very spot where he had rested. Climbing through foliage, and brushing wet leaves from his face, he climbed the bank. Foul water ran from his hair into his eyes. They were stinging. Streaming. Suddenly, almost blind.

Cold. A sudden chill. A bitter breeze swirled around him. He shivered and shook with cold. Then that hollow echoing laugh. A bloodcurdling laugh. Firstly in front of him, but then, when he turned, it faced him once again. Panic. Where to go, where to run. Don’t think about it. Just run. Run.

As he ran through long grass and dragged himself through thorny bushes, he felt the warm trickle of blood running down his scratched and torn face. Then a freezing hand grabbed him. An invisible unseen hand which clasped his neck and strangled his cry for help. Suddenly he found himself free again and he clambered on all fours up a grassy bank. An avalanche of stones and rocks tumbled downward, pummelling his aching body. And then again that laugh. That mocking terrifying chuckle. First in front and then behind.

His mind was suddenly a muddle of images, sounds and mist. A grey mist which filled every part of his trembling body.

Suddenly he was swept from his feet and hurled into the air. Then something caught him. Something in the air enveloped him, and he found himself staring down at the dark forest below.

A feeling of euphoria came over him. A warm glow. A feeling of contentment. A womb- like feeling. Safety.

He heard a soft lilting voice. It was as smooth as silk. "You are safe now" it said. "No need to run any more".

Then he gently descended to the ground where he found himself in a nest of soft bracken. He slept the sleep of an angel.

It was over at last.

Here’s a tale of haunting I wrote some time ago ‘Things that go Bump in the Night’
http://keithsramblings.blogspot.com/2007/06/things-that-go-bump-in-night.html

Last weeks’ Writers Island theme was The Stranger. Almost all my comments asked for more, so Part 2 is at
http://keithsramblings.blogspot.com/2007/10/stranger-part-two.html

Part 1 is at

http://keithsramblings.blogspot.com/2007/10/writers-island-stranger.html

24 comments:

  1. Nice haunting, Keith. You have a couple little things to tweak, if you want, like 'the to they' and quotations as in dialog have " instead of'. Nothing serious - but I enjoyed the story line.

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  2. You are a such a great story writer. Got the goosebumps now. Must go out in the sun. Have a great day Keith.

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  3. Keith, this is the real Little Wing.
    Don't let the cyber stalker club scare you off.

    This was a great piece of writing, but then you know that, :)

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  4. excellently paced story telling... loved it....

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  5. I found myself racing through this, too scared to stay and focus on each new twist. (The same way I'd have to peer out through my fingers during a frightening scene in a movie.) My heart is pounding, this was VERY evocative.

    Well done Keith, even if I'm too much of a wimp to truly appreciate it.

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  6. Wow, what a pace, such suspense, yikes, you've done it again, more please ... who was it what was it?

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  7. If my stories ever become half as good as this I will die a happy man.

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  8. You do have a such beautiful talent for story telling, my heart is beating hard and fast -thank you. Onto reading part 2 of stranger tale

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  9. great story! Now I'm in the halloween spirit!
    (thanks for your kind comment earlier :)

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  10. Very pacey indeed.......good job, you caught me! Off to read part II of last week's.

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  11. Keith, I got goosebumps on my goosebumps, so very haunting and spine tingling jitters. Very nicely done!

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  12. Wow... just wow. This was terrific. You are a superb writer! This had me totally riveted!

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  13. Jeez - The poor guy is being tossed around like a bird in a cat's paws. The realism makes it especially haunting.

    Nice work

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  14. your descriptive writing and prose is awesome Keith.. I love this story..
    PEace, Kai

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  15. I felt as if I were the one running scared! Oooo! THanks for stopping by t oread mne ! I had fun with it! I love the WI prompts! I am far from being a 'writer' !

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  16. Way to go! Taking us along on such a goosebumpy journey. Now I'll have to leave the lights on when I sleep!

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  17. Thanks for the wild ride! So scary and very well told.

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  18. I could feel the freezing cold and heartracing despair ... wonderfully told

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  19. Thankyou so much for the flattering comments made thus far. I'm new to this fiction business, but I have been encouraged by you to carry on.

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  20. I love your style of writing. You had me hooked from the first word. I'm a fugitive from Poetry Thursday and am only just getting settled in on Writers island. I will be catching up on your pieces asap. Sorry this is late but my server has been down.

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  21. I was so relieved to know that he was safe finally and slept the sleep of an angel.

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  22. Keith,

    You always hold my interest. Your stories are so suspenseful and exciting. What a great read thanks for this post. MUAH

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