Tuesday, October 17, 2017

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Post 1617. Tuesday October 17




I should have seen the writing on the wall. He’s no good they said. Look what he did to her they said. That was their own fault said I. He loves me. How wrong I was.

You’re safe now they said. A safe house, he can’t trouble you now. But they lied. They bloody lied because he’s here. I can see him through the crack in the closet doors. He's over there, see? There, wandering to and fro, fro and to, a crowbar clenched in his white-knuckled fist.  He’s going from one room to another, up the stairs and down again. Room to room, room to room, this way and that, that way and...this.  My heart is beating, he’s getting closer, my heart is throbbing, he's snarling, I’m dizzy, he’s reaching for the door, I’m..I’m..I’m….

It’s a safe house they said. You're safe now they lied.

121 words.


This week's photo is by Gant-Sud.



30 comments:

  1. Wow! This was creepy. I half expect him to rip a hole in the door snarling, 'Here's Johnny'. Brilliantly done, Keith

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    1. The Shining - now that really was scary! Cheers Varad.

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  2. Hi Keith - regrettably true for too many people, especially kids ... so well written - excellent ... cheers Hilary

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    1. That's most kind of you Hilary, thank you.

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  3. So scary. There is no safe space from someone like this, i've lost friends because there was no safe space.

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  4. That is cleverly crafted and the stench of treason is quite overpowering.

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    1. I'm pleaed it had the desired effect! Cheres YS

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  5. Well that's depressing. I was hoping she was hallucinating or overwhelmed with an irrational fear. Shelters for battered women and children are supposed to be safe and shield the victims from their abuser.

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    1. We would like to think so James. Thank you.

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  6. Terrifying stuff, Keith. Great drama.

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    1. Praise indeed coming from you Iain! Thank you so much

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  7. Wow! Chilling story! Very gripping! It is really sad when the safe house is no longer safe. Great story Keith!

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    1. That's really nice of you to say so and very much appreciated PJ. Thamk you.

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  8. The build up of fear has been painted well. Hallucination or real - it has the same impact on the body and mind.

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    1. Thanks for reading and commenting Reena.

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  9. The fear etched in the story managed to scare me and wished no-one should be in such a bad position.
    When he reaches for the door, his cell-phone should ring and he leaves the room and forgets his vendetta.

    https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/10/arrow.html

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    1. I sincerely hope so Kalpana! Thank you.

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  10. I am so sure that whoever took this picture had a totally different experience with this place, but all us writers have corrupted it.

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  11. Stuff that nightmares are made of! Excellent description!

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  12. Oh man, that's terrifying! Love the way you handed the details little by little. And the repeated phrases just ratcheted up the tension. Well done!

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    1. I'm delighted it worked as intended! Thanks so much EA

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  13. Felt like watching a horror movie. Eerie one Keith!
    Anagha has recently posted
    https://canvaswithrainbow.blogspot.in/2017/10/the-wall-of-humanity.html?m=1

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    1. Only thing missing is the popcorn! Thanks Anagha.

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  14. Sadly sometimes the evils of humanity outweigh any offers of safety. Sad tale.

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