Post 1617. Tuesday October 17
I should have seen the writing on the wall. He’s no good they said. Look what he did to her they said. That was their own fault said I. He loves me. How wrong I was.
You’re safe now they said. A safe house, he can’t trouble you now. But they lied. They bloody lied because he’s here. I can see him through the crack in the closet doors. He's over there, see? There, wandering to and fro, fro and to, a crowbar clenched in his white-knuckled fist. He’s going from one room to another, up the stairs and down again. Room to room, room to room, this way and that, that way and...this. My heart is beating, he’s getting closer, my heart is throbbing, he's snarling, I’m dizzy, he’s reaching for the door, I’m..I’m..I’m….
It’s a safe house they said. You're safe now they lied.
121 words.
This week's photo is by Gant-Sud.
Wow! This was creepy. I half expect him to rip a hole in the door snarling, 'Here's Johnny'. Brilliantly done, Keith
ReplyDeleteThe Shining - now that really was scary! Cheers Varad.
DeleteHi Keith - regrettably true for too many people, especially kids ... so well written - excellent ... cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteThat's most kind of you Hilary, thank you.
DeleteSo scary. There is no safe space from someone like this, i've lost friends because there was no safe space.
ReplyDeleteHow sad. I'm really sorry mimi.
DeleteThat is cleverly crafted and the stench of treason is quite overpowering.
ReplyDeleteI'm pleaed it had the desired effect! Cheres YS
DeleteWell that's depressing. I was hoping she was hallucinating or overwhelmed with an irrational fear. Shelters for battered women and children are supposed to be safe and shield the victims from their abuser.
ReplyDeleteWe would like to think so James. Thank you.
DeleteTerrifying stuff, Keith. Great drama.
ReplyDeletePraise indeed coming from you Iain! Thank you so much
DeleteWow! Chilling story! Very gripping! It is really sad when the safe house is no longer safe. Great story Keith!
ReplyDeleteThat's really nice of you to say so and very much appreciated PJ. Thamk you.
DeleteThe build up of fear has been painted well. Hallucination or real - it has the same impact on the body and mind.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and commenting Reena.
DeleteThe fear etched in the story managed to scare me and wished no-one should be in such a bad position.
ReplyDeleteWhen he reaches for the door, his cell-phone should ring and he leaves the room and forgets his vendetta.
https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/10/arrow.html
I sincerely hope so Kalpana! Thank you.
DeleteOoo! Freaky!
ReplyDeleteMmmm! Hope I didn't scare you!
DeleteI am so sure that whoever took this picture had a totally different experience with this place, but all us writers have corrupted it.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. Cheers Dobson.
DeleteStuff that nightmares are made of! Excellent description!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Shweta.
DeleteOh man, that's terrifying! Love the way you handed the details little by little. And the repeated phrases just ratcheted up the tension. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI'm delighted it worked as intended! Thanks so much EA
DeleteFelt like watching a horror movie. Eerie one Keith!
ReplyDeleteAnagha has recently posted
https://canvaswithrainbow.blogspot.in/2017/10/the-wall-of-humanity.html?m=1
Only thing missing is the popcorn! Thanks Anagha.
DeleteSadly sometimes the evils of humanity outweigh any offers of safety. Sad tale.
ReplyDeleteWell put Nora. Thanks very much.
Delete