Thursday, June 08, 2017

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Post 1544. Thursday June 8


Six Sentence Stories


*In case you are on the other side of the pond from me, I should point out that in the UK we refer to your elevators as lifts! My sentences are mostly made up of silly jokes I’ve picked up over the years. You may well have already heard, and groaned at them before. Sorry!




My mate Bill got a new job as a lift operator in a skyscraper office block, and when I saw him yesterday I asked him how it was going and he said ‘it has its ups and downs’

He told me he loves it when ladies use the lift wearing beautiful perfume but hates it when young men ‘break wind’ because it’s wrong on so many levels.

Bill would have loved to have been an airline pilot, but it never happened so he thought taking off and landing a lift would be the next best thing, and the uniform’s pretty good too.

He found a prosthetic leg in the corner yesterday; a body missing a leg is bad enough, but a leg without a body must be awful.

His lift has doors both sides and one of his favourite games is to stand facing the doors opposite  the ones that are due to open because the passengers always follow his lead!

Yesterday he travelled twenty-five miles, the doors opened and closed six hundred and forty-two times, and he carried one thousand two hundred and fifteen people - whilst standing on the spot!




The cue word at Six Sentence Stories is Lift

28 comments:

  1. Such a feel-good story ! I love Bill's attitude.

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  2. Warmed me this morning. I love that y'all call it a life!

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    1. ...love y'all call it an elevator! Cheers Paul.

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  3. Lift operators jobs are no fun and his attitude was a good way cope. Some good laughs in this Keith.

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  4. These jokes are so bad, they're good. :-)

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    1. I'll take that as a compliment! Thanks Deborah

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  5. Lighthearted and fun six. A lift for my day.

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  6. Cute! I appreciate the little nuances of language like your boot for our car trunk. I bought language learning software years ago trying to learn Japanese. Now that was tricky. I should pull out that software and see what I've retained. The Japanese company I worked for at the time made it even more interesting, especially when Mr. Tanaka would walk by. Fun memories. Be well!

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    1. I'd love to hear more of those memories! Boot trunk, bumper fender, autumn fall, coach bus...it goes on and on!

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  7. You have described the stats in such a poetic manner. Impressive!

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    1. More by luck than judgement! Cheers Reena.

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  8. It would certainly be a job where you needed to do something fun to keep from being bored. Well told!

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    1. You'd certainly need something to lift your spirits! Thanks messy one.

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  9. ( barum bump!) lol not a bad set of jokes fun Six!

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  10. Oh the jokes...so much like one of my relatives. We usually tell him his happy hour is over! :D The first one is pretty funny, though, and I have to admit it still has me laughing.

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  11. That job could lead to a fair amount of amusement for a mischievous mind *grin*

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    1. You need amusement to relieve the boredom! Cheers Shadow

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  12. This was a fun read, Keith. I have missed your humor and I'm glad I was able to drop by today! My last job was on the sixth floor of a thirteen story building, and I loved playing games with passengers, such as staring intently at one spot to see who would follow suit, or mentioning that the same elevator had been stuck twice the day before (which it often was)! :-)

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    1. I like that! There are quite a few ways to have harmless fun at others expensive in a lift! Thanks Josie.

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  13. I loved this!!! Very sweet! I used to fabricate prothetic limbs and have found a few bodiless legs in my day!ivy

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  14. I love your writings that are so full of humour, Keith.

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    1. Praise indeed coming from a writer whose work I so admire. Thank you.

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