Thursday, June 25, 2015

No idea















The given words at this week's Whirligig are elsewhere, shop, records, way, walk, run, idea, sitting, book, hands, letter and mailbox.


A nine to five job it’s not. Blake’s wife Jane and his kids are used to him  always working, hardly ever being home. Whilst they enjoy family time, more often than not he’s elsewhere.

Such is his life as a private detective, a successful and sought after one.

It’s nineteen fifty-two in the evening. Blake is sitting on a bench supposedly studying the book he grips in his hands. He watches as his mark drop a letter or perhaps a card into the mailbox then walk around the corner. He scribbles a few notes; location, times and such in his book along with a reminder to buy a card for his wife’s birthday. 'Twenty o-seven, Market street, Post Office. Jane card'. His records are always precise, exact and detailed. Blakes follows at a discreet distance.

His mark enters a convenience shop and comes out a minute later with a bouquet of flowers. 'Twenty twelve, North Street, 7/11 Store' is entered into the book.

It’s dark, but a  car comes past headlights ablaze, just as his mark looks over his shoulder. Blakes sidles behind a tree. He got away with it.

It’s twenty twenty-eight precisely and his mark turns into Juniper Avenue. Blake lives in Juniper Avenue. The mark walks to the door of number thirty- two and knocks

Jane opens the door, takes the flowers and kisses the mark. Blake's children excitedly run around and tug on his jacket.

'Twenty thirty-two. 32 Juniper Avenue. I had no idea', he writes in his book. 

There was no way he could have. After all, he’s hardly ever there.

16 comments:

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    1. That's a nice word! glad you liked it.

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  2. One might say 'serves him right', lol. Very nicely done, Keith :)

    There's a book by a colleague, Christopher Lynch, entitled "One Eyed Jack" about a P.I. who watches just such situations--for profit. Quite good actually, and just optioned for film. http://www.amazon.com/One-Eyed-Jack-Christopher-Lynch/dp/1475174438/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1435343006&sr=8-1&keywords=One+Eyed+Jack

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    1. Thanks Christine. The book looks great - 5* on Amazon which is quite rare! I'll be downloading it to my Kindle.

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  3. At the mid-way point I could feel what was ahead..I guess collecting facts and figures is another kind of absence...an oversight of what it means to be present and alive - I feel sorry for him..being someone often lost in little notebooks as the world passes by...a fine piece of flash Mr H!

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    1. I suppose this is why most of the 'famous' private eyes are single! Thanks JR!

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  4. When he was sleuthing she had a private d**k of her own.

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  5. I feel sorry for him too. Inspector Clouseau my favourite PI would have dealt with a situation like that very effectively .
    Although I do understand why no one married him. He practised the violin in bed.:)

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    1. ...and a Japanese man in his cupboard! Thanks for dropping by.

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  6. Keith - I love this! Brilliant and absolutely aches to be expanded - Kudos!

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    1. Wow, thank you so much for you kind words!

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  7. Oh, heavens! An ending I certainly wasn't expecting. Well told!

    No Idea: Whirligig 13

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    1. Neither was he! Thanks oh magical one.

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  8. Great job here ... and the ending ... noted in that cold distant precise manner, he's obviously still absent even here. Nice story!

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    1. At least he solved the case! Thanks for your comment Georgia

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