Another week of frantic story writing
Already ten tales under my belt
And only sixteen more to go!
He was
driving fast, too fast. He wanted to get home and curl up on his sofa with a
whisky in front of his glowing log fire.
‘Are we
there yet?’
It was pitch
black. His cars headlights aimed a pair of silver blades into the night. Its
tyres protested as he swerved this way and that on the winding road that
twisted and turned in the darkness ahead.
‘Are we
there yet?’
His eyes and
ears were assaulted by raindrops hammering on the windshield. Sudden gusts of
wind hurtled him left then right as he fought with the wheel to stay on the
road.
‘Are we
there yet'
He roared
through a cathedral of bowing trees. A wood pigeon flew straight towards him.
Instinctively he hit the brakes and the car slithered and jerked throwing his
head against the window. It shuddered to a halt.
For a moment
everything around him became a blur. He opened his eyes wide and thanked God
for keeping him on the road.
‘Are we
there yet? Are we there yet?’
'SHUT UP!'
he yelled. He turned round and found himself gazing at an empty seat.
For there was no
one in the car but him.
He started
the engine and set off homeward.
He stabbed
the radio and the soothing sound of a Beethoven sonata began to relax him. He passed the Anchor Inn then swung left down
the winding lane which led to his cottage, passing the crooked red post-box and
crossing the sandstone bridge. Almost home. Nearly there.
‘ARE WE
THERE YET?’ screeched a voice. 'ARE WE THERE YET?’
He skidded
to a halt and spun his head round although he knew there was nobody there.
What the hell was happening?
A thud on
the floor startled him. For several
minutes he sat motionless.
He massaged his temples then eased himself to his feet and threw a log on the fire. He picked up the glass he’d dropped, refilled it and slumped back on the sofa.
He massaged his temples then eased himself to his feet and threw a log on the fire. He picked up the glass he’d dropped, refilled it and slumped back on the sofa.
For a while he gazed at a photo of the child he lost in an accident. It had been his fault, he was driving far too fast.
His eyes drifted closed as a tear trickled down his cheek.
‘Are we
there yet?’ whispered a voice in his ear. ‘Are we there yet?'
My short story for Monday is called Knock knock
oh no so very sad! Well told with just the right amount of tension and words!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kathe. My first draft was twice as long and I was worried it might lose something when I trimmed it down.
Delete:'(
ReplyDeleteMy my, you have a wonderful way with words 'Wynn!
DeleteThe torments can haunt the person and it lingers on in his conscience. Great short story Keith!
ReplyDeleteHank
Thanks Hank. Although I've written about it, I really can't imagine what it's like to be tormented in this way and I hope I never will.
DeleteThis is quite an impactful piece! Loved it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by :D
Thank you Sanaa. I'll be stopping by your place again soon!
Deletesome sorrows get washed in tears, but some you carry to your grave, great post
ReplyDeleteIn his case it's some of the former but mostly the latter. Thanks for your kind words.
DeleteTaut. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks MG!
DeleteOh, sad Keith! It does feel very frantic. 'Are we nearly there yet?' has become a cliche, hasn't it? Happy writing! It's a little cool and blustery today so you're probably in the best place.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly is and I can still hear my kids saying it on every journey we ever made! As I read your comment the sun came out! Thank you!
DeleteOh! Loss of a child in an accident can haunt you for a long long time. Very powerful and gripping narration, Keith!!
ReplyDeleteCo-Host AJ's wHooligan for the A to Z Challenge 2015
I can't really imagine what it's actually like, I can only guess and that's what led me to write this story.Thanks for your kind comments Shilpa.
DeleteI have goose bumps. Well done! I'm pleased to see you getting so many reads. I have bookmarked your blog. ~grin~ Oh, and I'm number 1295 on the A to Z list today. Best wishes!
ReplyDeleteGlad to see my story is getting the reaction I hoped for! I've placed you on my blogroll. I keep forgetting to put my A-Z number on my comments! Thanks so much for visiting me.
DeleteGoosebumps...very powerful and emotional. I am envious of people who can grip the reader from the get go and keep them holding on tight until the very end.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Heather. Your kind words are so appreciated.
DeleteGreetings from a fellow A to Z traveler in the Colonies!
ReplyDeleteYou wrote a strong piece. The poor man is justifiably haunted by his loss.
Thanks Bob!
DeleteOh, that is sad. Very moving, poor man.
ReplyDeleteNot easy to live with something like that. Tanks for dropping by Elaine.
DeleteOh very well written; didn't quite learn his lesson did he? Still driving fast, no matter what it had cost him.
ReplyDeletebetty
Thanks for visiting Betty.
DeleteSad and haunting.
ReplyDeleteYvonne
Indeed. Thanks for dropping by Yvonne.
DeleteYour prose is quite power packed. I could imagine the scene but I wished he hadn't been drinking when he made the mistake.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he does too.
DeleteThis story is riveting, and scary.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much
DeleteWow! Very powerful, such a lesson for all of us. One second, and everything changes.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment
DeleteThanks for your comment
DeletePowerful...engaging!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Jessy
DeleteWhat gripping, descriptive writing. Sad and powerful.
ReplyDeleteThanks Doreen
DeleteYou're the master of spooky!
ReplyDelete