I know somebody who’s a little different.Usually when I meet her the sun comes out, but sometimes she’s irritating. She’s flamboyant yet modest. Her thoughts are often jumbled; she invariably fails to get to the point. Whenever we meet she’s the last to arrive. A twitch of the nose signals the start of one of her a jokes which she rarely understand herself. Tell her a secret and you can be sure she’ll disclose it. Her appetite for wine can cause problems, to her chardonnay is bliss. Yet I never tire of the sound of her voice or her company. She’s unique. She’s my friend. She’s Rosey!
I saw my friend Rosey last Sunday. She told me she thought she’d picked up a disease of the feet! “Look” she said as she slipped off her Crocs. “I've got lots of big brown spots”. I pointed out that the big brown spots formed perfect patterns and they bore a remarkable similarity to the circular cutouts on her Crocs. Then it dawned on her. “Sun tan?” she said. “Yep” said I.
The reason I met her was to take her to church. I’m not a great churchgoer myself, but Rosey hasn't been for years, apart from when she has been with the children from her school for their carol services and things. I can’t remember if I told you, but the school where she works as a classroom assistant is a church run school. Normally to get a job there you need to be a regular at St Peters or another local church. Rosey is not! But Rosey’s parents are. They are pillars of the community and go to the church every Sunday. They also raise funds and are greatly valued by the Reverend ‘lets-pray’ Lester. Need I say more?
Well, this week she has to take a group of kids to communion as part of their RE studies. Normally this is the duty of head teacher Miss Grossman but she is indisposed. Rosey was worried that she wouldn't remember what to do, so I said I’d take her for a dummy run so to speak. Incidentally she got into a bit of trouble with Miss G after she told the kids during assembly she was taking them 'God bothering'!
Anyway, apart from sitting when others stood, and standing when other sat she did pretty well. At one point she nudged me in the ribs and pointed out on the service sheet that gluten free communion bread was available which for some reason tickled her. She then put her hand to her mouth and asked me in a hushed whisper what ‘Sanctified’ wine was; was it like Sancerre? I think she was joking but with Rosey you can never be sure. My biggest fear was that when we went forward to receive communion she would ask if they had any chardonnay! Happily she didn't.
Well, we got through it and as I write this she is at St Peters with her charges. I’ll call her later and see how it went.
To read more stories about My Friend Rosey click HERE!