Sunday, September 18, 2011

Tommy's adventure

The prompt at Carry On Tuesday this  week is 'He should have seen it coming' and over at Sunday Scribblings it's Easy' 

"How was the exam?" asked Dad as Tommy came through the door.  Tommy dropped his bag onto the floor and collapsed onto the sofa. A big grin spread across his face. “Easy” he said “it was a doddle Dad!”  Tommy didn’t have too much homework to do and anyway, it was in his words ‘easy’, so there was still time for a bit of fun before bedtime.

The sun was setting over the park. Tommy had a feeling that he was being watched. He couldn’t see any one, but he could feel several pairs of eyes peering at him. He looked around. Were there people hiding behind the trees? There was a hedge a few feet away. Was he being watched from behind the twigs and leaves? He jumped as he heard a crunch and a snap to his left. He spun round and as he did so a menacing growl came from behind him. The hairs on the back of his neck were standing on end, he could hear himself breathing and a trickle of sweat ran down his brow.  He ran forward and stumbled into a ditch. He didn’t expect that. Water swirled around his feet – the stench was awful. He spotted a sturdy stick; it may come in useful he thought.  As he clambered out of the ditch a ferocious hair covered creature appeared in front of him welding a spiked ball on a chain. As he creature began to spin his deadly weapon around and around, Tommy leapt forward and smashed his stick against his foes shins. The creature shrieked as Tommy dashed away across the grass looking over his shoulder as he ran. Crash. He’d run into a tree trunk and he fell to the ground. He was seeing stars, and not just stars. Suddenly from the midst of the twinkling lights a two headed vulture swept down from the sky. Tommy waved his stick around in the air and sent a crashing blow to one of the vulture’s heads. It screamed and rushed up into the sky.

Tommy was really tired. He sat there, his heart pounding and wondering what on earth would happen next. Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder. It made him jump out of his skin; he should have seen it coming. He spun round and saw his Dad standing over him.

“Time to turn off the Xbox for tonight Tommy” said Dad “Time for bed, you’ve another exam in the morning and this time it might not be as easy!”


  1. A great take on the current generation of schoolies.

  2. That teenage doll captures the 'tude of the piece perfectly..Jae

  3. Your stories are always so descriptive that they come alive more than an Xbox could ever do. The picture fits well for a Tommy. Good work

  4. Like this a lot. Captures how a youth can get so involved in a game...Enjoyed the description. I was in the struggle and caught with the surprise...

  5. lol so real :) I enjoyed every tense moment!