Why is it the phone always rings at the most inopportune time? Jump in the shower – ring ring. Go to the loo – ring ring. Having a lie in - ring ring. Up a ladder changing a light bulb – ring bloody ring!
I was in fact balancing atop my wobbly stepladder just last night, juggling a dead bulb and a new bulb in one hand, whilst trying to steady the tottering tower with the other. Ring ring, ring ring. Wouldn’t you know it? What is it about a ringing phone? Why are you overcome with an urgent desire to know right at that very moment who’s at the other end? Why can’t you let the answering device take the call for you? After all it’ll probably only be some salesman trying to sell you something you don’t want.
Anyway, I reversed unsteadily down the steps, missing the last one completely and stumbled backwards into the coffee table. The phone was still ringing. I gained my composure. I had to get to the phone before it stopped. The phone was in sight. I lurched forward to grab it and dropped the bulbs onto the floor and one smashed into a thousand shards. Was it the live one or the dead’un? Never mind, snatch the phone!
Just in time! ‘Hello’ I gasped, glass scrunching under my slippered feet!
‘Hi’ screeched an excited voice. ‘Is that you? Is that really you?’
‘Yes’ I said, ‘I suppose it must be! And who exactly are you?’
‘It’s me, silly! Me me me!’
‘Sorry’ I said ‘but I’m not sure who you are’
‘It’s me, surely you haven’t forgotten me already! Err, it is you isn’t it? I mean, I hope I haven’t called the wrong number’
‘Of course it’s me’ I said, my curiosity turning to amusement. ‘Thing is, who am I speaking to? Who are you?’
‘Oh my goodness’ she spluttered ‘It isn’t you is it? Please forgive me’ And then she was gone.
I got myself a new light bulb in case the broken one was the good one, and set off back up the ladder. I balanced on the top step. I reached up, swayed a little, then slowly raised my hand towards the fitting dangling almost out of reach above my head.
Ring ring, ring ring. I decided to ignore it. The answering devise switched in and I heard my own voice apologising for my inability to take the call.
‘Oh, err, hello, hello' the caller said 'It’s only me.......................’
Written for Sunday Scribbling prompt 'Me'
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