Hey Peggy – come over here. You won’t believe what I just heard! Well, the guy from number 12, Jack I think his name is, told me...................sorry I can’t speak up, someone might hear....... Jack from 12 said he saw that brazen hussy from number 32 scurrying through 23’s front door! Well, I thought there might have been something going on, and Anne at 41 said the same. But I ask you, trotting up the road before number 23’s wife was barely out of sight! It really isn’t on, is it?
And that’s not all! Oh look there’s Janet from number 18 – Janet, come here dear, you’ll be interested in this. When I was hanging out the washing.......no dear, I can’t speak up, there a lot of nosy people around here and you never know who might be listening. As I was saying, while I was hanging out the washing yesterday morning I couldn’t help noticing something going on in the garden shed of the house behind me – 86 Arcadia Avenue I think it is. The shed was sort of moving. No dear, not moving up and down the garden, it was, well, rocking. Like this. It was fairly obvious what was going on. As you know I’m not one to be nosey, but I just happened to have my bird spotting binoculars to hand so I thought I’d have a peep through the shed window. It was pretty steamed up – well, it would be – and guess whose grinning face I saw? No, not a garden gnome dear, it was her! What do you mean who? Her of course. Her from 32. Yes, the same one that Jack from 12 saw going into 23.
I’m going to have to tell the newly wedded girl that’s just moved into 16. She needs to keep an eye her hubby with that jezebel on the loose. And Peggy, perhaps you should warn 47 about her too. I did hear that her husband used to have a bit of a roving eye. Janet, you might like to watch your man too. What do you mean, what am I suggesting? Well, I wasn’t going to say anything, but your Richard goosed me in church the other day while we queuing for communion. Goosed dear, goosed. You know – pinched by bottom. Janet dear - Janet , where are you going....oh well.
Look out, here she comes, her from 32. Shhh shhh, change the subject. Hello dear – I say, did you hear what was going on in the house next to yours the other day? Well, you won’t believe what I just heard.................