Thursday, February 21, 2008

(Fiction) Friday - Round and Round

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The prompt on (Friday) Fiction this week has been inspired the the song lyrics 'we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year'. I think this song must have passed me by because I've never heard of it! Anyway, this is what I've come up with.


Two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
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year after a year.
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Swimming in opposite directions,
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year after year.
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By night he worked, she slept.
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By day she worked he slept.
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Round and round, passing each other twice a day,
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year after year.
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Two people, two lives.
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Two different lives, growing apart
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*
One lost soul, swimming in a fish bowl,
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Round and round.
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Year after year.
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13 comments:

  1. lovely.. reminds me of the time I was asked to do this.. work at night.. I refused on the grounds that I will never get to see my husband... you have put it so well!!

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  2. together yet apart, that's sad...very nice.

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  3. Keith,

    I see where the problem is coming in this simple piece that tells the truth.

    Well, you know what? Sometimes, I also blame my inability to find a partner to my work schedule. I am a night shift nurse and perhaps this is the reason we can't find each other.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

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  4. Love it, and than there was only one. sad though These fishes should have spent more time together.

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  5. What a great bit of verse, and the illustration is perfect.

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  6. So beautiful - especially as you don't know the song its from. Goes to show the powerful imagery only a few words can have to convey a universal meaning and feeling.
    So true too - many of us are in this boat - ships in the night - fish inthe bowl, mice on a wheel...round and round.... just because..

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  7. I love the way you rifted this line into a new poem, and so beautifully too. If your curious about hearing the song, I posted the video along with my Fiction Friday this week. It really is an amazing song in some ways.

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  8. Keith I think that you covered this very well. Great post.

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  9. perfectly said..two lost souls drifting apart...isn't that what's happening most places?

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  10. makes me think how people can distance themselves even when they try not to.

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  11. Hi Keith,
    I'm so very glad that you didn't know the song - because we would never have got this simple yet incredibly powerful piece of writing from you. There is certainly NO inadequacy in this. I also love the picture that you've put to your poem.

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  12. The lot of many in today's mad world.
    Well said.

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