Wednesday, January 02, 2008

The Earth Is Flat!

My second contribution to Writers Island prompt 'Earth'
.
.


I love alternative theories! I remain to be convinced that man landed on the moon. I am pretty sure it wasn’t the Titanic that sank, rather its sister ship the RMS Olympic. And Santa is an anagram of Satan, so is he really the jolly chap we all think he is or the devil in disguise?


How about this one. The Earth is a flat disc, not a sphere! Don’t laugh! It’s possible. It has a diameter of 24,900 miles with a 150 foot wall of ice around the edge and the ‘north’ pole at the centre!


It gets better. The sun and moon are also discs, 32 miles in diameter and only 3000 miles above us. The stars are 100 miles above them.


As for gravity, this is brought about as a result of the Earth accelerating upwards. The oceans tides? Simple. The Earth is slowly tipping from side to side causing the water to slosh to one side then the other.


I’m told that sunrise and sunset come about as a result of the planetary bodies above us revolving and moving in and out, although I’m not sure I quite understand that one!


Now I didn’t invent all this stuff myself! There is a Flat Earth Society which puts up very convincing arguments for this theory. And I like it!


I was thinking that a new business could be started up which offers the ultimate bungee jump from the edge of the earth! And instead of rock-climbing a whole new dangerous sport could start by crossing the earth from underneath using giant suckers!


Anyway, I have to sign off now or I’ll be late for my appointment with my counsellor!


My first contribution to Writers Island 'Earth' is here

13 comments:

  1. Uh huh I see now get comfortable on the couch and tell me more lol. I like this post a great deal there Keith. I think it is very thought provoking and something that perhaps wouldn't hurt to have some research done on it. Great job.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Okay now I have to go check out the Flat Earth Society.
    Thanks for stopping by my site.
    Have a wonderous 2008.
    Frances

    ReplyDelete
  3. Excellent post as always Keith, Thanks for being so humorous and informative! Have a wonderful 2008!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I particularly liked the idea of the sloshing of the tides being created by the earth tipping from side to side. I love quirkiness.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ermmm...hope you weren't late for that appointment.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am intrigued by the idea of crossing the earth from underneath! I imagine it to be inhabited by a variety of gravity-defying creatures which have never been seen on the flip side.
    Your turtles on the right side are very cool, but I couldn't manage to feed them.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Give me the suckers. I'll try it! Try anything once!
    And here I was thinking that he wasn't even going to write on post for this topic.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks all for your comments.

    I tried posting it on Helium but they decided in their infinite wisdom to reject it! The final straw.

    Time to resign my membership methinks!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gimme - I hoped that nobody remembered me saying that I wasn't contributing to this prompt! OK, so I posted not once, but twice! A guy can change his mind!

    ReplyDelete
  10. heh..heh...now i should run this by my son...he may think i'm finally off my rocker...

    ReplyDelete
  11. "The Earth is slowly tipping from side to side causing the water to slosh to one side then the other."....yes, and tsunamis are nothing more than the Earth, because of its elderly state, occassionally nodding off...hence forgetting to tip back again!

    very, very witty....loved it!

    thank you for stopping by my site and leaving a comment....it gave me this wonderful opportunity to come visit and get acquainted with yours. i will certainly return to read more of your witty ramblings.

    ReplyDelete
  12. its always good to look at things from a differnt angle, I enjoyed this post

    ReplyDelete
  13. Very convincing but I'm wondering about lemmings. When I return from the FES, I'll call you for the name of your counselor. :)

    ReplyDelete

COMMENTS ARE CURRENTLY TAKING ABOUT 30 SECONDS TO PUBLISH. Patience is a virtue!

Dear WORDPRESS friends. If you are having difficulty posting please 'Comment as' either:-

a) Name/URL
b) Anonymous with your name included in your comment.

Thank you!