Sargent Charlie's Casebook

Written for Sunday Scribblings and Carry On Tuesday

Little Charlie Sargent was one of the most popular boys in school. Mainly because he was very good at solving crimes. His friends turned his name around and called him Sargent Charlie! The other day someone took Sally’s pen. Sargent Charlie found the culprit in no time. “It was naughty Nick that nicked it” he said.  “Nick the Nick - you are nicked”.

One playtime a very serious crime indeed was committed. Joanne’s bag of M&M’s disappeared. Well, it was actually half a bag, but it was still a serious matter. First he had to visit the crime scene. It had happened when Joanne was sitting on a bench in the playground. The bag of M&M’s was beside her. Patrick was also on the bench, and Nigel was sitting cross legged on the ground in front of her. Somebody, she thought it was Jason, shouted quite loudly behind Joanne, and she turned around to see was happening. When she turned back her bag of sweets had gone, and little Polly Perkins was rushing past. This was case for Sargent Charlie, and everybody knew that come what may, he would bring the offender to justice.

“Right” said Sargent Charlie pinching his chin the way detectives do on television, this is a darstab....darsten...."

"Dastardly Sarge" said Joanne

"Yes, a dastardly crime" said Sargent Charlie. “We have three suspects; Patrick, Polly Perkins and Nigel. Plus Jason because he caused a distric….disrtoc…”

“Distraction Sarge” said Joanne. 

“Yes, a distraction” said Sargent Charlie. “So he might have been a conprit…consirup….”.

“Conspirator Sarge” said Joanne.

 “Yes, a conspirator” said Sargent Charlie. He thought for a moment. His deputies stood around him in silence waiting for him to come up with a master plan.

“Right” he said “This is what I’ll do. I’ll gather up the suspects”. He soon found them all. “Come with me” he said. They just stood there looking sheepish. “Come along” he said a bit more firmly. They obeyed. He stood them in a line. “Hold out your hands and stick out your tongues” he said. Then he slowly walked along the line-up with his hands behind his back. “Polly Perkins, step forward. Jason step forward.  Patrick and Nigel you are free to leave. Polly Perkins, you are under arrest for taking Joannes M&M’s and Jason you are under arrest for being a conspit…comspiro...helper.

“How did you know? “spluttered Polly Perkins.

“Elimentat…ellimintica…”

”Elementary Sarge” said Joanne. 

“Yes, elementary” said Sargent Charlie. “Your fingers are stained and your tongues are a funny colour” he said. “Your punishment will be to do Joanne’s arithmetic homework for her tonight”.

Another case solved for Sargent Charlie.