He gets Rosey's vote!

Written for Carry On Tuesday and Sunday Scribblings

‘Can I rely on your vote Sir? ‘asked the sharp suited young man with the enormous blue rosette and a mass of floppy black hair The elderly gentleman just gave him a blank stare and carried on shuffling his way down the shopping mall . My friend Rosey was standing nearby giving directions to a girl who was a little lost. The poor child appeared more confused than ever by Rosey’s route; hopefully she’ll never land a job a sat-nav voice . Rosey then spun around and pointed in the direction the girl should set off. Unfortunately in doing so she poked the aspiring politician right in his left eye .

For the umpteenth time in her life Rosey claims it was love at first sight . As she stared at the hapless young man with a stream of tears flowing from his very red eye she claims a flock of pink doves filled the air above her giddy head . Above his head spun stars , but that’s hardly surprising under the circumstances . It seems however that he was equally struck by her , in more ways than one . After a bit of billing and cooing Rosey decided she should get him some medical attention as quickly as possible , and they duly had their first date and the A&E department of Eastbourne District General Hospital.

A short while later he appeared from behind a curtain sporting a black patch over his injured eye . Rosey was overcome with feelings of guilt and compassion , but mostly ardour . She had always wanted to meet Johnny Depp and for a moment the young man before her bore a striking resemblance to Captain Jack . (I decided not to spoil her story by pointing out that although Jack was a pirate he didn’t actually wear an eye patch)

She has yet to introduce us to her new love . He’s busy on the campaign trail and has no time to sit in a pub with us even if he wanted to . We’ve questioned Rosey as to whether being the partner of a politician is really what she needs right now , but she seems to think that this time he’s ticked her box . One of her friends said that he was not 'a patch' on her last fellow, but Rosey didn't get the joke, or chose not to . I pointed out to her that so often, love is blind . She giggled and said ‘He nearly was!’

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