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Imagine swapping lives with Rosey!

Some people lead charmed lives. As babies they are smothered with ooo’s and aaah’s of admiration. During childhood they shimmer with an aura that leaves their peers cowering in the shade. Academic qualifications matter not. Who needs university degrees when personality propels one to heights of popularity, and opens doors which thinkers and academics can only lean on? I know such a person, Miss Rosemary Anne Pinkerton. My best friend who will be right now clamping her hand to an open mouth and spluttering as her cheeks flush with a customary 'rosey' glow!

I sometimes think I’d like to swap lives with her. Not just because she’s half my age, but due to the fact that she has in her hands a gift which she’s not even aware of. Not only is her world her oyster, it’s a diamond encrusted crustacean which in her naive and totally charming mind she’s yet to notice! But then again, such qualities in other hands could spoil the person.

As a child Rosey was blissfully blind to the hand she’d been dealt. It’s not uncommon for children to have imaginary friends and she was no exception and she created in her mind the person she would have liked to have been. But usually, imaginary mates fade away as real friendships develop and young people leave childish ways behind.

If you are a regular visitor to my little corner of Blogland you will not, I’m sure, be surprised to learn that my friend Rosey had a pretend friend when she was a nipper. She was girl called Candice. She started out the same age as Rosey, in fact she gave Candice the same birthday as her own (and mine by the way!) so she wouldn’t miss it, and each year they gave each other birthday cards! ! Candice was supposed to be left handed so that when she wrote, her handwriting would look markedly different from Rosey’s! 

I didn’t know Rosey back then, but her parents still tease her about it at every available opportunity, usually in front of friends! What her parents don’t know is that Candice is still around, at least Rosey imagines she is! Somehow the years have not been as unkind to Candice because nowadays she seems to be ten years younger than thirty-one year old Rosey! Of course even Rosey wouldn't seriously believe he had an invisible friend. She just decided it would be fun to carry on with a pretend friend as a kind of unique personality feature!


She brings her up in conversation at regular intervals and the things she claims Candice has done are often outrageous and always hilarious! She particularly likes to mention her in front of people who aren’t in the joke, and it’s so funny to watch their faces as they hear about Candice's latest escapade! We, her close friends, have sworn a vow of secrecy to enable Rosey to have a little fun at every opportunity.


A few times this has caused problems for my friend Rosey! For instance, on one occasion a group of us were having a drink in the bar opposite Eastbourne Town Hall. As with most lunchtimes, there were quite a few 'booted and suited' local civil servants there lapping up a lunchtime libation. We were enjoying a bit of banter with a couple of them when Rosey mentioned that she had a friend called Candice living with her. The conversation then moved on to what our new found friends actually did behind those heavy oak doors over the road at the Town Hal,l and they told us that they worked in the department which deals with the local council tax which is levied on every property inside the town boundaries. Rosey was being her usual over friendly self and joked that although she was sharing her apartment with Cancice she was managing to get away with claiming the 25% discount enjoyed by single occupants (I actually enjoy that concession myself!). Alarm bells must have rung in the council workers heads and they somehow managed to find out exactly where Rosey lived with her friend! A few days later a tax inspector arrived on Rosey’s doorstep asking questions about the occupancy of the apartment. I think however Rosey had the last laugh when she explained that her so called confession was no more than a joke which was somehow taken seriously by a couple of overzealous council workers who really shouldn't have been indulging in alcoholic beverages half way through their working day.

As you know Rosey is quite keen on holding dinner parties. I told you about one that went pear-shaped a few weeks ago! What I’ve never mentioned is that she always lays a place for Candice! She doesn’t actually go as far as to plate up an extra meal, but Candice gets given a glass or two of wine which, needless to say, Rosey helps her to drink!

And whenever we have a drink together no matter where we are, we always raise our glasses to Rosey’s imaginary friend Candice.! So it’s cheers Candice, and bottoms up to my funny friend Rosey!If only I’d been you....... ah well!

Written for Sunday Scribblings prompt 'Life swap' and Writers Island 'Imagine'

Don't forget to drop in on Carry On Tuesday, the prompt that gives you more than just one solitary word! Click HERE to join in the fun.

Father's Day!

The Sunday Scribblings prompt ‘Birth’ has by happy coincidence appeared on Father’s Day, and whilst fathers are not actually able to give birth (just yet) their contribution to the happy event is toil worth enduring!

So here I present to you my second contribution to this week’s SS task. I apologise in advance for what is a dreadful piece of poetry – I feel guilty even using the term! It breaks every rule of this noble literary art . The rhymes are disjointed, it doesn’t flow and the whole thing is clumsy and random. It’s an awful read, but it was fun to write. It is after all Fathers Day, so I can do just whatever I like and if you don't like it ........tough!!!

Hip hip hooray

I’ve got some cards

I’ve got some pressies too!

Hip hip hooray

it’s Father’s Day

Gosh, how my babies grew!

A hundred years ago today

Father’s Day began

We got it from the USA

And Hallmark thinks it’s fun!

And did you know

that Father’s Day,

the day that dads have fun,

comes just nine months

before the weekend

Mothers have their day!*

* In the UK that is! Our Mothers Day is in April.

My wonderful children!

Everything changed

Written for Writers Island prompt 'Change' and Sunday Scribblings prompt 'Birth'




You know what it’s like. You see a dishevelled character, slumped cross-legged in a heap on the pavement with a rusty tin in front of him, inside a few coppers and a couple of foreign coins. A mangy mutt of a dog lies on its side, asleep, knackered.

I saw such a person this afternoon. He was probably young, although it was hard to tell. He looked at me through bloodshot eyes staring out of an ashen hollow-cheeked face. It was raining. Not pouring, more of a drizzle but it added pathos to the scene of despair and hopelessness before me.

“Can you spare me some change for a cup of tea guv’nor?” he mumbled.

Was it really tea he wanted money for? You never can tell. More often than not, what little money these people scratched together helped fuel some form of dependency. But I‘m certain I saw something else in those tired sad eyes. I saw a sparkle. It was just for a fraction of a second, but it was enough to make me to feel a pang of pity for the pathetic person before me. So I did something I rarely do. I plunged my hand into my pocket and dropped all of the loose change I had into his tin.

Suddenly I trouble focusing. Or did I? I rubbed my eyes. Everything in front of me was changing. You know that effect used in films where the image begins to ripple? That is what I was seeing. The crumpled beggar began rising from the pavement before my very eyes, swirling, twisting, snaking. It was like witnessing the supernatural birth of a strange new life in a sci-fi movie. I just stood there bog-eyed! Even the dog came back to life! And believe it or not the people walking by and the cars in the street all stopped moving. Motionless, frozen. Bizarre.

There in front of me stood a grinning, winking, mincing young – thing! Tall, suave, dressed in a multi-coloured suit, and a peaked pink hat set at a jaunty angle atop a mop of streaked blonde curling locks. As he smiled his glistening white teeth sent a shooting star high into the air. There he stood one hand upon his hip, the other hanging loosely from a limp wrist. Then I noticed the dog. I swear it was grinning, a diamond encrusted pink collar around its neck sparkling in the sunshine.It sat there one front leg raised, a paw hanging as if imitating its master! But surely, it was raining a few minutes ago, and now the sky was dressed in a cloak of the brightest blue, with white clouds performing a merry dance around the sun. What was happening? Why the sudden change?

I was transfixed. He looked me in the eye and said (no lisped!)  “Today ith your thpecial day! I am your Fairy Godfather thweetheart! I can grant you th-wee withes. I’ve got a couple in mind if you are th-tuck for idea-th!” It was like a dream, a bad dream, a NIGHTMARE!

Thudenly - no suddenly, I realised I was being shaken. I blinked a few times and found myself sitting on a stool, a stool at a bar. And in front of me was an empty glass. On my shoulder was a hand, the hand of a bar tender.

“I think you’ve had enough” he said.  I nodded in agreement.“Tho, what are you doing later thir?” he asked.

He winked, his teeth flashed, and I jumped off my stool and ran for my life!

Don't forget Carry On Tuesday, the prompt with a difference! Click HERE.

Another milestone!

Truth or lies?

What follows was written for both the Sunday Scribblings prompt ‘Superhero’ and my dear friend Lucy! It was she who honoured me with a Creative Writing award, and in accepting it I agreed to come up with 6 ‘facts’ about myself, some of which are truthful and others which are out and out lies! I leave to you to decide which ones are which! To help you, only 2 are true!

1. This week’s Sunday Scribblings prompt reminded me about a money making idea a friend and I came up with when we were teenagers. We invented a hearing aid and we gave it the catchy name Super Hear-O! We advertised it on cards in a few shop windows and claimed it was a new invention which could be purchased for a very small outlay. The idea was to send our customers a piece of cardboard and a little roll of sticky tape. We would enclose a leaflet instructing the user to roll the cardboard into an open-ended cone shape, secure it with the sticky tape, then hold the pointy end to the deaf ear! In retrospect it was probably a good thing that we sold none!

2. I was clambering up a crowded staircase a few years ago when a woman came rushing downwards and nearly knocked me off my feet. She grabbed my arm to steady me then apologised profusely. I then realised she was Dynasty star Joan Collins. Even Blake Carrington never got a ‘sorry’ from Alexis!

3. Whilst on the subject of celebs, I was once minding my own business having a pee when I realised the man at the next urinal was Paul McCartney! We had a brief chat and before we went our separate ways he shook hands with me – after he’d washed then fortunately!

4. Most people my age are rapidly becoming grumpy old men or women who like nothing more that grumbling and moaning about the younger generation. I’m different because my best friend is a young lady half my age. My piers can’t understand what we can possibly have in common. Well, to be honest we don’t have anything in common except our birthday – we share the same date! I suppose the thing which makes our friendship special is the way we make each other laugh, really laugh! She even enjoys the way I tell stories about her which anyone else would be slightly embarrassed or even hurt by!

5. I once ran a little deli in Eastbourne. One of my regular customers won a huge prize on the National Lottery. No sooner had he received the news than reporters and cameramen from all over the country assembled outside his house in the hope of grabbing a few words, and a picture of the unseen face behind the name. He called me and asked me to deliver a few bits and pieces so he could stay hidden behind closed curtains. I had a bit of a job getting past the assembled crowd, they were asking me questions about him and even trying to go through the contents of the bags I was carrying. I managed to smuggle myself through the front door. The new millionaire said it would probably be easier for me if I slipped out the back way and climbed over the back fence and into the road behind. What he didn’t know was that a gaggle of reporters had positioned themselves there too in case he attempted a discrete escape. When I propped down from the fence I was immediately surrounded by the rear guard press who assumed I was the lucky winner and started photographing me! I shouted ‘no comment’ and ran for it around the corner and into the rear of my shop, locking the door behind me! I decided to stay closed for the rest of the afternoon as I now had a crowd of reporters of my own outside in the street. Imagine my surprise when I switched on the TV and saw my picture on the local news with the subtitle ‘is this the mystery millionaire?’

6. And finally I must tell you about the time I actually won something! It was during my annual visit to the horse racing at Glorious Goodwood when I thought it would be fun to do a bet known as an accumulator. It involved predicting the name of a horse from each of the 7 races which would finish in the first three places. The odds were huge. I stuck on a £10 bet and I won over six grand! £6700.87 to be precise!

So that’s it! Over to you to decide which 2 are the true ones! At this point I am required to pass the award on to 6 of my favourite bloggers, but most of my friends post in a style which wouldn’t suit this type of writing. Instead I’ll break the rules and invite any of my friends that feel so inclined to join in, then help themselves to the award in recognition of having taken part!

The gift.

It had been simply a matter of time. Over the past few weeks she had become weaker and weaker by the day. Such a devoted couple, they’d become a single soul in two frail bodies. When his flame went out like a candle in a breeze, she was left in the darkness, alone, so alone.

It had been a silly argument some thirty years ago. A row over nothing, a boyfriend they’d thought unsuitable for their daughter. Boyfriend became husband, but they weren’t there to share their happy day. They heard about the birth of their granddaughter through a friend, but despite their daughter’s pleadings, they refused to see her. The longer it went on the more difficult it became for a reconciliation to take place.

So there she sat. The nurse swept came in to get her ready for the day, but when he dragged back the curtains with a cheery good morning, he found her sitting in her chair, on her lap a partly unwrapped package. He recognised it as the gift that had been left at the reception the previous afternoon by a little girl and her mother. They hadn’t asked to deliver it personally. Her eyes were closed, and there was hint of a smile on her face, a face that seemed younger than it had yesterday. It was moment or two before he realised she had gone. Gone to be with her beloved husband.

He stood there looking at her for several minutes, then suddenly the package fell to the floor with a clatter. He picked it up, removed the pink sparkly paper and held in his hand a silver frame. And in the frame he saw a  photograph of a little girl and her mother.

Sitting there in her chair she looked so peaceful, so content.

Written for Writers Island

And the award for creative writing goes to.............

Oh Lucy, Lucy, Lucy! What can I say! Not only did you honour me with an award, you told your readers I was sweet! If only you knew!!!

In accepting this honour I’m required to submit to you, dear readers, a piece of creative writing. Creative in the true meaning of the word, as in inventive!  I love the idea behind this ‘meme’. I have to write six things about myself, five of which have to be either pure fiction or utter truth! It’ll be your job to spot the false fact (or facts)

Lucy changed the rules for hers and went 50/50! I may do the same.Creative writing is not really my thing (first lie!) Please go visit Lucy's post, it's great fun.

So watch this space. I’m going to have fun with this, as I will in finding a few bloggers to pass the award on to.

By the way, did you notice my new header? I thought I’d go for a different  look. I've also added my 'inspirational' playlist to the sidebar. It's the music that wafts over me when I'm trying to cobble a few words together. Take listen, it works for me you may just like it!

In the days last light

For Carry On Tuesday # 56

In the days last light

a silver mist meanders

midst the trees.

Swirling

slowly.

Chilling the air

twixt the shadows of night.

Let me read it to you!

A country pub in springtime

Wordless Wednesday

I was a little messy!

I was thinking about this week’s Sunday Scribblings prompt ‘Mess’ when my mind suddenly shot back to something that happened when I was taking an autumn holiday in Greece a couple of years ago.

I was sitting under a delightful vine covered trellis at the front of a picturesque tavern on the island of Samos. The floor and the tables were strewn with fallen leaves and the odd grape or two. It was wonderful. I’d ordered a tankard of Mythos beer and a glass of ouzo which was delivered by Stavros along with a dish of local olives. As he placed them on the table he beamed at me and said what I thought was ‘messy’! I commented that I found the debris rather attractive, but the way I which he shrugged his shoulders told me that he’d not understood what I’d said.

Anyway, I got started on my refreshments and plunged my nose into my book. A couple of minutes Stavros re-appeared. He pointed to the table and said something like ‘you messy’! I immediately thought he had a point because it was a bit of a mess. I’d spilt quite a bit of beer on the table and several olive stones had missed the pot. I looked up, grinned back and said ‘Ne’ (that’s one of the Greek words I actually  know - it means ‘yes’! The other word I know is ‘birra’!)

A few more minutes passed and back came Stavros who presented me with a platter of little fishes, cheese, tiny sausages and dips galore! He pointed at it, puffed out his chest and said what I thought was ‘messy meester’. I was baffled.

And then I suddenly remembered another Greek word I knew, and realised he'd been asking all along if I wanted a ‘meze’! It is of course the name of the traditional selection of nibbles and treats that go down so well with a drink under the Hellenic sunshine! 

It all started when the guy eating in the middle of the restaurant tried to crack the brittle topping on his crème caramel. He stabbed it with his spoon, but it refused to yield. He then jabbed it with a fork. Mistake! It had the desired effect inasmuch as the topping cracked, but unfortunately the entire dish leapt off the table sending a slimy slick of crème across the floor.

Unfortunately a waiter carrying a tray of drinks was but a step away when the puddle appeared at his feet. He made a gallant attempt to stay upright, but he began to slither and slide around like a drunken skater! Needless to say, by the time he gained his composure the wallbangers, whiskies and wine had launched themselves into the air. There was a crashing of glasses on the floor and their contents shot up and then down again splattering everybody in an alcoholic shower!

As if that was not bad enough, a couple of drink drenched diners jumped to their feet knocking their table skew-whiff, and as a result two plates of the chef’s 'plat du jour' landed upside down at their feet. The waiter, still shell-shocked realised that one of them was beginning to lose her balance, so he shot towards her in an attempt to keep her upright. Whilst his feet seemed to move at double speed like Fred Astaire performing a tap-dance, he made no forward progress whatsoever. Then it all went into to slow motion. As the young lady fell backwards as the waiter leaned forward, and they ended up in a tangle of arms and legs in the slop on the ground.

One by one, fellow diners tried to help the hapless couple get back onto their feet, but one by one they too ended up on their back-sides. You should have seen it!

Then the fun began. One of the fallen guys started laughing. Then another, and another. Before long everyone was laughing! Suddenly one girl grabbed a fistful of food and rubbed it into her friends face. Someone else did the same, and in no time at all it had turned into one hilarious food fight!

People still talk about that night. One letter to the local paper, presumably from an ex sailor, suggested the name of the restaurant be changed to the Mess Deck! Several other correspondents thought it would be a great idea if they made the food fight a regular event! Now that really does sound like fun.

The new Carry On Prompt is HERE!

Britain's Got Talent 2010

After a fantastic week of Simon Cowell's Britain's Got Talent, the winner by a country mile was the dance troupe Spelbound. I voted for singer Christopher Someone (forgotten his name already!) and he didn't even make the top three!. Anyway, if you want to see the act that won the show a couple of hours ago, click HERE and watch the judges reaction near the beginning when one of the dancers literally flies over their heads!

A special piece of music

Most of us have a special piece of music. A piece with touches the very depth of our soul and transports us far away from the stresses and pressure of our crowded lives. It may last just a couple of minutes, but to sit back with closed eyes as it wraps us in a soft blanket of peace and tranquility is a moment in time well spent.

Mozart died in 1791 before he completed his Requiem Mass in D Minor. One of the last movements he composed was the brief yet hauntingly beautiful Lacrimosa, my special piece of music.

So, what is yours?