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It was the end of a perfect summer’s day. They wandered hand in hand around the garden stopping only to look into each other’s eyes and embrace.
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They were intoxicated by the feelings they had for each other and saw nothing around them but a mist of emotion. All they heard was the sound of songbirds, all they felt was the warmth of the evening sun.
He picked a fragrant bloom and placed it her hair. He held a buttercup under her chin and collected daisies to make her a chain to hang round her neck. She plucked a blushing apple from a bough and they each took a bite.
May they rest in peace
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awesome!! :)
ReplyDeleteAH HA! Not forbidden love, the dreaded forbidden FrUIT!
ReplyDeletegreat job Keith! :)
You kept me guessing until the last line! I have always wondered what the forbidden fruit was. I hope it wasn't an apple - especially a Granny Smith.
ReplyDeleteNice job, fruit has a lot to answer for!
ReplyDeletePerfectly done.
ReplyDeletethis is great!
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, we wouldn't have come into being....
ReplyDeletemay we all taste a bit of the forbidden fruit in our lives....
ReplyDeletegreat post.
A great finish. Good finale with the pic at the end.
ReplyDeleteYou were one of the ones who wanted the rest of the story. Here's part. Satire and long.
Wonderful interpretation!
ReplyDeleteGreat twist - I love the very human look at those final innocent moments.
ReplyDeleteOh, you sucked me right into this one! Love it!
ReplyDeleteA juicy turn on this old favorite, and lots of fun to read!
ReplyDeleteHi Keith, clever stuff and I like the innovative touch with the sound track thingy..
ReplyDeleteAnd I bet it was good too, but there is always a catch.
ReplyDelete...and it all starts all over again.
ReplyDeleteah this was lovely..to be honest did not expect this to be really about the forbidden fruit..thought there might be a surprise at the end :)
ReplyDeleteDid the devil make you write that? Well done.
ReplyDeleteI love the spoken word - brilliant! JP/deb
ReplyDeleteForbidden really resonates with the apple, but what does it for me is their death because of their love--Romeo and Juliet style--and the death because of the apple, once again rings true with another story about forbidden love. Well done, and it does a little something more being able to hear you read it. Maybe I will start doing that...
ReplyDeleteI cannot wait to see what you think of mine!
Wow! Fantastic. The music goes perfectly as well.
ReplyDeleteAwesome!!!!! Love this - your reading is exquisite - the story superb - actually it reminds me of another story :)
ReplyDeleteLovely! It felt so much romance in this.
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting!
ReplyDeleteYou are right, we did go down the same path . . . I wished I hadn't known your twist before I started reading. It would have been a great surprise ending.
For a great exploration of what perfection could have been like, might I suggest C.S. Lewis' Perelandra. The main character arrives on a planet not yet corrupted by sin and there are Adam and Eve characters--and even a forbidden fruit.
What a great, thoughtful retelling of two classic stories. . . When I read it a second time, I had to brace myself against the sadness and depth of the last line. Incredible.
ReplyDeleteOh, very well done!
ReplyDeleteOh, very well done!
ReplyDeleteVery nicely done. Feels good to be getting caught up on blogs again.
ReplyDeleteI liked this one, and I thought the last line below the picture was very haunting, a definite contrast to the beginning
ReplyDelete