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Hey Peggy – come over here. You won’t believe what I just heard! Well, the guy from number 12, Jack I think his name is, told me...................sorry I can’t speak up, someone might hear....... Jack from 12 said he saw that brazen hussy from number 32 scurrying through 23’s front door! Well, I thought there might have been something going on, and Anne at 41 said the same. But I ask you, trotting up the road before number 23’s wife was barely out of sight! It really isn’t on, is it?
And that’s not all! Oh look there’s Janet from number 18 – Janet, come here dear, you’ll be interested in this. When I was hanging out the washing.......no dear, I can’t speak up, there a lot of nosy people around here and you never know who might be listening. As I was saying, while I was hanging out the washing yesterday morning I couldn’t help noticing something going on in the garden shed of the house behind me – 86 Arcadia Avenue I think it is. The shed was sort of moving. No dear, not moving up and down the garden, it was, well, rocking. Like this. It was fairly obvious what was going on. As you know I’m not one to be nosey, but I just happened to have my bird spotting binoculars to hand so I thought I’d have a peep through the shed window. It was pretty steamed up – well, it would be – and guess whose grinning face I saw? No, not a garden gnome dear, it was her! What do you mean who? Her of course. Her from 32. Yes, the same one that Jack from 12 saw going into 23.
I’m going to have to tell the newly wedded girl that’s just moved into 16. She needs to keep an eye her hubby with that jezebel on the loose. And Peggy, perhaps you should warn 47 about her too. I did hear that her husband used to have a bit of a roving eye. Janet, you might like to watch your man too. What do you mean, what am I suggesting? Well, I wasn’t going to say anything, but your Richard goosed me in church the other day while we queuing for communion. Goosed dear, goosed. You know – pinched by bottom. Janet dear - Janet , where are you going....oh well.
Look out, here she comes, her from 32. Shhh shhh, change the subject. Hello dear – I say, did you hear what was going on in the house next to yours the other day? Well, you won’t believe what I just heard.................
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fun fun fun ... i love gossipy pieces i have written two that i can think of and not found i love writing them almost as much as i love reading them!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteJuicy piece. I don't enjoy gossip, but I always listen.
ReplyDeletethis was a fun read...truly scandalous...:D
ReplyDeletehillarious... and this kinda thing really happen.... scandelous i say!!!
ReplyDeleteScandalous rumours! And how we all love them!
ReplyDeleteYeah, love this Keith, it just occured to me that you could use significant numbers like 69, 501, 11 as in legs eleven, etc. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteLoved this post!
Andy
This was really great! I was crying I was laughing so hard.
ReplyDeleteand that is exactly how scandal is born! good job....
ReplyDeleteLook at me keith, Im doing this without your help. Did this really happen?
ReplyDeleteIn every neighbourhood, in everywhere I've been, lives someone just like this. So many faces coming to mind.
ReplyDeleteI believe you live in my neighborhood!
ReplyDeleteJuicy, juicy. Hush!!!!
ReplyDeleteentangling
Great stuff, I enjoyed it immensly and thanks for the Madeline Peyroux I have all her albums
ReplyDeleteYep! That how it was. :) You musta been there.
ReplyDeleteAlisa
PS. This is great!
He he... this reminds me of when I was working in a nursing home and there were 2 old ladies, both had dementia and no memory, but they still remembered how to do the whisper behind their hands thing to each other when someone walked past.
ReplyDeleteThey hadn't known each other before entering the home, I bet they were hell on wheels in their younger days.
:)
Oh, this is divine! Gossip making the day go faster and the world spin more quickly.
ReplyDeleteI love the writing here....sounds like Mrs Doubtfire...Robin Williams hit. Really enjoyable and well done!
ReplyDeleteHugs Giggles
I could just hear the voices! That must mean it is perfect.
ReplyDeleteb
Mmmm reminds me of someone I know...
ReplyDeleteThis was really funny, and I was tickled you used my name in a story!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think I know this person . . .