I've tagged myself

I very rarely get tagged. Probably because I usually ignore them when they are thrown at me. But yesterday I saw one I liked. Trouble is I can’t remember where I saw it! Tag etiquette dictates that the ‘tagee’ heads his or her response with a copy of the rules. Therein lies my first problem because, as I said, I don’t know which blog to visit to copy them! I’m also not entirely sure what the rules say! I seem to remember that it suggests I list 13 words or phrases that irritate the heck out of me. Well, I fancy a go at it.

Now my list may leave some of my readers a little lost. Although we all use roughly the same language on our blogs – with the possible exception of Whitesnake – there are big differences in the way we use it. For instance, my 'titbits' are American 'tidbits'. And the other day I used the term hooter to describe a nose only to discover it has an altogether different meaning across the pond. If I went out displaying a pair of pants I’d be told to go home and put some trousers on – we wear our pants underneath!

What I am saying is that this list may just leave you cold! Anyway, here goes!

I’ll start with one I heard just minutes ago on the radio. ‘He turned round and said....’ No he didn’t! People don’t spin when they say something (unless of course your good lady is trying on a dress and does a twirl whilst seeking your approval) and I hear it so often.

How about ‘At the end of the day....’? This totally inappropriate phrase often starts a sentence which would more correctly kick off with the word ‘actually’

Teenage-speak. Irritating or what? ‘So I go hello and he goes hi and I go ow-ya- doin and he goes alright.... Go? Go? No, it should be said! Sometimes they use the past tense. ‘So I went hello and he went hi and I went ow-ya- doin and he went alright.... Even worse they sometime use the past and present tense together. ‘So I went hello and he goes hi and I go ow-ya-doin and he went alright’

When I went to school the alphabet sounded like Eh, bee, see, dee, eee, eff, gee, aich.... But no longer. Aich has now become Haich. What’s all that about? On TV quiz shows competitors are told to pronounce the letter H correctly, but out there on the street, haich reigns.

Now this is probably outside the rules because it concerns the way things are said rather than the words that are said. I refer to the AQI. The Australian Questioning Inflective. I blame on imported Aussie soap operas like Neighbours and Home and Away. Increasingly statements are spoken like questions with the last few words raised in pitch. ‘Today I went to the shops? I bought some sausages?’ Now I fully accept that this is the normal way of speaking for our antipodean colleagues down under and it’s probably due to the fact that they are standing upside-down, but it aint acceptable here!

‘Thinking outside the box’. I have no problem with the theory. It’s very sensible advice. But it’s being over-used, often completely out of context.

The word ‘famous’ is applied to any minor achievement these days especially by sports commentators. Within seconds, a win is described as a ‘famous victory’. It can’t be famous. Fame cannot be instant. Fame comes with time. Urggg!

Once upon a time an icon was an image of Jesus or a saint. More recently someone who is widely or uncritically admired can be described as an icon. But now any oik who gets a record to number one in the charts is described as iconic. Even footballers are iconic. We are being overrun by icons!

Do you get fed up with advertisers referring to themselves as ‘probably’ the best?. ‘Probably’ the biggest?. They either are the best/biggest or they are not. Absolute nonsense.

Politicians are a breed of their own. This may be a British thing, but when politicians are asked to explain something, they invariably start the sentence with ‘We have made it absolutely clear...’ No you haven’t! If you had, we wouldn’t be asking you to clarify it.

Sports commentators again! Why is it that every time a footballer ( soccer-er!) kicks a ball into the net, the commentator yells at the top of his voice ‘What a goal!’ It actually doesn’t make sense. The only way those words would work together would be as a question – What? A goal?

Then there are common mispronunciations. Why do so many people add a K to the end of the word something? Somethink! Yuc. And chimley instead of chimney. There are heaps more.

That’s it! I think I’ve done my 13. Actually lots of people would have said ‘I fink I’ve done....’. I hate that, so now I’ve reached 14.

Now I have to tag another bunch of unsuspecting souls. But I’m not going to!