The prompt on (Friday) Fiction this week has been inspired the the song lyrics 'we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year'. I think this song must have passed me by because I've never heard of it! Anyway, this is what I've come up with.
Two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
.
year after a year.
.
Swimming in opposite directions,
.
year after year.
.
By night he worked, she slept.
By night he worked, she slept.
.
By day she worked he slept.
.
Round and round, passing each other twice a day,
.
year after year.
.
Two people, two lives.
Two people, two lives.
.
Two different lives, growing apart
.
*
One lost soul, swimming in a fish bowl,
One lost soul, swimming in a fish bowl,
.
Round and round.
.
Year after year.
.
.
lovely.. reminds me of the time I was asked to do this.. work at night.. I refused on the grounds that I will never get to see my husband... you have put it so well!!
ReplyDeletetogether yet apart, that's sad...very nice.
ReplyDeleteKeith,
ReplyDeleteI see where the problem is coming in this simple piece that tells the truth.
Well, you know what? Sometimes, I also blame my inability to find a partner to my work schedule. I am a night shift nurse and perhaps this is the reason we can't find each other.
I wish you well.
~ Jeques
Love it, and than there was only one. sad though These fishes should have spent more time together.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great bit of verse, and the illustration is perfect.
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful - especially as you don't know the song its from. Goes to show the powerful imagery only a few words can have to convey a universal meaning and feeling.
ReplyDeleteSo true too - many of us are in this boat - ships in the night - fish inthe bowl, mice on a wheel...round and round.... just because..
I love the way you rifted this line into a new poem, and so beautifully too. If your curious about hearing the song, I posted the video along with my Fiction Friday this week. It really is an amazing song in some ways.
ReplyDeleteKeith I think that you covered this very well. Great post.
ReplyDeleteperfectly said..two lost souls drifting apart...isn't that what's happening most places?
ReplyDeleteNice work!
ReplyDeletemakes me think how people can distance themselves even when they try not to.
ReplyDeleteHi Keith,
ReplyDeleteI'm so very glad that you didn't know the song - because we would never have got this simple yet incredibly powerful piece of writing from you. There is certainly NO inadequacy in this. I also love the picture that you've put to your poem.
The lot of many in today's mad world.
ReplyDeleteWell said.