Poor Rosey! Everyone takes advantage of her unquestioning naivety!
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We were all in the pub a few nights ago, about six of us, and Rosey sneezed. Well, a couple of us said ‘bless you’, as you do. Rosey said ‘thank you’. I told her that she shouldn’t say thank you because every time she did, a fairy would die. She looked at me, and then looked around the table at everyone else. ‘You are teasing me’ she said. ‘Is that really true?’
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Not long ago she was telling us they we all needed to ‘think green’ for the sake of the planet. I told her that I had just bought a charity wrist band in aid of the 'Save the Rubber Tree' charity! She liked that. Anyway, she said that she thought we should have wind farms on every hill top. Actually, she called them propellers, but we knew what she meant! Then someone said to her that if we built too many it would turn Britain into an enormous hovercraft that would begin sailing off across the Atlantic towards America!.
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In her normal fashion, her brow became furrowed. You could hear her thinking. Her mouth opened, then it closed. Then it opened and broke into a grin. Not being quite sure what to say, she suggested we all have another drink!
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Another time several of us were sitting around in her flat. She took a bubble pack from her bag and popped out a huge tablet which she put in her mouth. Despite several large gulps of wine it refused to go down, so she started chewing it.
Another time several of us were sitting around in her flat. She took a bubble pack from her bag and popped out a huge tablet which she put in her mouth. Despite several large gulps of wine it refused to go down, so she started chewing it.
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Moments later she started foaming at the mouth! Like a human volcano! The more she tried washing it down the worse it got – green foam everywhere.
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My friend asked what it was she had taken and she said quietly ‘a tablet the doctor gave me because I have thrush’. My friend then asked to see the pack. ‘You are supposed to insert them not swallow them’ she pointed out!
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Don’t you just love her?
Don’t you just love her?
You have a great knack of observing human nature, and your writing is wonderful for it. I really enjoy reading here and wondering what surprises you have in store for us!
ReplyDeleteA great Fiction Friday too- thanks!!
Morgy loves Rosy ... and all people like her.
ReplyDeleteOne time I was wearing these weird suede pants and this lady with whom I worked was rubbing them and saying how soft they were.
I said, "Yeah, they're unicorn skin."
She said ... "No! Seriously? That's so sad."
The other ladies in the office were dying holding their laughter in.
I said, "Oh, well, it's just a way of life for people like my uncle."
She said, "What do you mean?"
I explained, "My uncle has a unicorn ranch in Colorado and that's what they're raised for ... their skin."
She was still amazed, "That's crazy!"
I will always love her for that brief yet concentrated moment of laughter.
We broke it to her gently that unicorns were not indeed real.
lol... this one was too good.. I remembered a story I had heard .. about a man I know (old man really .. he is over 80 now)... He went to the pharmacist complaining of a headache.. The guy gave him some effervescent pain relief which the old man promptly popped it into his mouth.. He started foaming at the mouth and everyone around rushed to him to see what was wrong. Had it not been for the pharmacist, he would have been rushed off to the hospital by the onlookers!!
ReplyDeleteI think she is my long lost twin.
ReplyDeletehehe..heh...rosey rocks!!!
ReplyDeleteI love your Rosy stories. She's real people!
ReplyDeleteHappy I didn't miss this I laughed my head off. (I saw Brittain flewing away like a hovercraft and all the fairies dropping dead in my mind) Yeh exactly me as well when I was young. They even made a St Nicolas poem about it.
ReplyDeleteI could switch spots with Rosey on 'bless you'!! :) ...a little too close to home :) :)
ReplyDelete