Cheffie's got red eyes!

The electricity in our village was turned off today. Seems there was something that needed fixing. For most of the villagers in their cottages, this was nothing more of than an inconvenience. May even had some benefits - couples talking together instead of watching the TV, people reading that book they had forgotten about. There may even be a population explosion in 9 months time!

But pity poor Cheffie. No way was I going to give in! Dozens of elderly people depend on me for their daily plate of sustenance!

First problem was the dark! Even at midday with the sun shining outside, I had difficulty telling my ass from my elbow. My kitchen has one small window which is shrouded by a tree. But I wasn’t going to let that beat me. A couple of candles flickered either side of my station, and I was in business

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Meanwhile in the restaurant, tea- lights illuminated each table and the wrinklies started trooping in. The bottom of the dining area is naturally very gloomy. The building is almost 300 years old and the windows are tiny. But the scene looked almost romantic! The image was altered however, when an elderly lady in a gloriously over-the-top dress glided in. She had clearly had an accident with her perfume bottle as her Channel began to fill the air and the whole room took on the air of a tart’s boudoir!

In the meantime I was struggling with a suitably reduced menu. I only had 6 gas rings to work on. No oven, no microwaves ( yes, I do use microwaves!) and more importantly, no extraction system! The kitchen got hotter and hotter, Cheffie got hotter and hotter, and in no time my eyes where streaming and as sore as a rambler’s rash!

Liver and bacon, cold meat with bubble and squeak, sausages with pan fried spuds.

With no machinery running the whole place seemed eerily quiet. I could here every word which was said outside in the bar. Every now and then someone would say ’forgot to pay the electricity bill?’ then convulse with laughter not realising it had been said 20 times before!

I overheard one conversation between Jackie, our barmaid cum waitress, and an elderly couple.
Old man ‘I’ll have haddock in batter’
Jackie ‘We have no fryers today so we cant do it’
Old man ‘What?’
Old lady ‘They’ve got no fryers’
Old man ‘I’ll have ham and chips’
Jackie ‘ We can’t do chips - we have no fryers’
Old man ‘What?’
Old lady ‘They cant do chips’
Old man ‘Why?’
Jackie ( thinks ’silly old fart’) NO FRYERS!
Old man ’What?’

Then I dropped something on the floor with a crash and I missed out on the rest of the entertainment!

Anyhow we got through and I’ve come home for my siesta. I just looked in the mirror and my eyes look as red as a vampires gob! Hopefully the ’lecky’ will be back on when I go back again in a couple of hours. If not, I’m coming home! .