tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post815308143567661534..comments2024-02-11T12:37:14.536+00:00Comments on keith's ramblings: You'll understand, in a while. PART ONEKeith's Ramblingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13564578491652021492noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-57099180131774199472014-02-11T13:02:56.517+00:002014-02-11T13:02:56.517+00:00Ditto, Jae Rose! There was a lot of eery suspense...Ditto, Jae Rose! There was a lot of eery suspense. :)Tammiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14561326138441048329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-28120153457156859192012-09-20T06:06:16.537+01:002012-09-20T06:06:16.537+01:00i hope it's only "a little while" un...i hope it's only "a little while" until we find out what happens next! {smile}my heart's love songshttp://myheartslovesongs.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-51365721966623879852012-09-20T03:45:13.470+01:002012-09-20T03:45:13.470+01:00This is an excellent, creepy yarn. Please continue...This is an excellent, creepy yarn. Please continue and don't leave us hanging. After all, you must want to know what happens next.Belva Rae Stapleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16018806071465719524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-28589873488032091722012-09-18T20:04:32.250+01:002012-09-18T20:04:32.250+01:00Very well done... If you leave it, it is enough, b...Very well done... If you leave it, it is enough, but in sincerity I would love to see you develop it more. Excellent work Keith.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-47021721039167375852012-09-18T17:51:20.245+01:002012-09-18T17:51:20.245+01:00Ooooo...creepy to know he may be watching... Ok, n...Ooooo...creepy to know he may be watching... Ok, need to know what happens next!Daydreamertoohttp://daydreamertoo.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-453359505560841582012-09-18T10:49:16.516+01:002012-09-18T10:49:16.516+01:00you're a great mystery writer, do write on ple...you're a great mystery writer, do write on please?!Shadowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05999801833389058410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-243138289836061622012-09-17T19:27:13.353+01:002012-09-17T19:27:13.353+01:00"The Perils of Pauline" - 21eme siecle. ..."The Perils of Pauline" - 21eme siecle. :-)Berownehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09524661173663604641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-62726773002856570582012-09-17T11:42:19.920+01:002012-09-17T11:42:19.920+01:00I think this feels complete. You created character...I think this feels complete. You created characters and hints of a back story really well. If you want to add something maybe add more of a sense of danger to the end if you want him to kill her, maybe add something about the wedding when they look at the photo. I don't think you need to add much though. The sense of mystery is brilliant and it adds to the fear. That is if you're going for that kind of story. If you were going for a happy, light romance, you missed the mark :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-34864759602728106682012-09-17T07:18:19.576+01:002012-09-17T07:18:19.576+01:00This feels like the middle section of a novel - I ...This feels like the middle section of a novel - I needed a back story and a conclusion - is a compelling hook to drag us in.vivinfrancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07388722600118753457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-37071220106608468442012-09-17T05:51:13.433+01:002012-09-17T05:51:13.433+01:00Keith, these characters definitely need more story...Keith, these characters definitely need more story. I'd like to know how Susan came by her low self-esteem, how she'd crawl back to such a schmuck. Also, Brian is in control, even to the point of looting the house and shutting down the electric, knowing she would come back.<br /><br />This is a viable story, very honest, very real. Yeah, he was in the bushes, or perhaps someone he hired.<br /><br />I want to know: If they were married, how dare he ransack the entire house? Where is her position in this marriage? Is he deranged or simply abusive (as though abuse is simple...). Yes, more. Please, sir, I want more! Amy http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/09/16/ocd-overwhelming-critical-demands/Sharp Little Pencilhttp://sharplittlepencil.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-31013530271796587652012-09-17T04:52:05.435+01:002012-09-17T04:52:05.435+01:00The crackling sound gave me a clue that he was wat...The crackling sound gave me a clue that he was watching her and when she was upstairs he set light to the house. I often wonder whether we own somebody that much as to destroy them. Pity she didn't stay away. A creepy reaction from me as this had nothing to do with love but ownership and control.Old Egghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14727444489103758018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-6332101645678746102012-09-16T21:26:20.165+01:002012-09-16T21:26:20.165+01:00great story, so far, and in its entirety....I thin...great story, so far, and in its entirety....I think it was just Brian, playing a prank on her.....joannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18255189465024912528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36300005.post-56621592305950707952012-09-16T18:10:26.346+01:002012-09-16T18:10:26.346+01:00Ah yes this story was a little black and full of s...Ah yes this story was a little black and full of shivers also..perhaps we will never know..that's good..at times..Jae Jae Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11509244123008832611noreply@blogger.com